Back in August? a co-worker and I approached the main boss about getting standing desks. He approved the idea. We had two vendors come out in September and make quotes. A vendor was approved in November. The purchase order was made.
Finally, yesterday the installers came! They were late - it took them 3 hours to install mine and co-workers. Coworkers is a simple attach to the desk model. Mine is not a simple one. I got the one where they attach legs to the bottom of the desk that rise and fall via motor.
I was willing to go with the cheaper model, but asked if the one I got would be possible. I love it!!
I'll be getting an anti-fatigue mat (employer) and I am going to look for a small step stool to help with position changes.
Already my fitbit is showing increased active activity. I made 7 of 10 250 steps in an hour. Usually my average is 3 ...
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So last night we dropped my car off at Brakes Plus because it had been having increasing squealing issues.
Today they called my DH and told him it needed a new belt and a new battery. DH emailed me the info - I told him that I thought that was strange, since I was pretty sure I had some kind of belt put on just a few years ago there.
So during lunch I called them to find out what belt they were talking about. Yep, it was the serpentine belt, and it was the one replaced by them 2 years 2 mos ago.
So in the end, what would have cost $114 for parts and labor, cost $38.95 after a $25 coupon.
Guess what is being added to my bujo (bullet journal)?
You guessed it - A page for recording auto maintenance!
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So now he's wanting his log in info for his ROTH.
You can probably guess why.
I can't exactly say no. (I'd actually given it to him previously.)
I'm thinking a compromise I am willing to live with is that as long as there is an increase of 6500 each year, I don't care what you do with the rest. Or say I'm ok if you put half of it in index funds or bonds - safe steady investments, and then the other half in more speculative stuff.
It's not like you can really do day trading within a ROTH, at least not quick trading. Though I did lose most of the $1k I bet on Fitbit ....(bought second day at $42 .... now is at $5 something. Yech. So yes I know it is basically gambling. (He throws the electric car stock at me - you have all those shares of the car stock - isn't that gambling? Well, yes, and I've been trying to convert them into less gambling type stuff. But the stuff in the taxable account has to be done carefully and slowly...)
It isn't like I can tell him what to do with the money in his retirement accounts ... because then he could do the same with mine. Oy vey. The one money issue we never really discussed before marriage. (Other than him being totally floored when he found out what my networth was after we were engaged.)
I might bring up the idea of consulting with a 3rd party financial advisor again. Because I'm not really sure what to do.
I mentioned to him that the ROTH money has been growing pretty well - he says back, well, yeah, the stock market overall has been growing a lot, so of course the ROTH would. UGH@
I really thought we had all the money stuff ironed out beforehand.
Standing Desk! Car spending/saving, Etc
February 1st, 2018 at 03:47 am
February 1st, 2018 at 04:59 am 1517461180
Sorry; I know I'm being overly sarcastic; you can delete this after you read it and I'll understand. I just feel so protective of my SA buddies and all their careful hard work!
February 1st, 2018 at 06:20 am 1517466041
That said, if he chooses speculative investing in his ROTH there is a limited amount you can do about it.
You can delete this one too, if you find it too provoking. We care about your well being, Laura.
February 1st, 2018 at 10:16 am 1517480215
February 1st, 2018 at 12:21 pm 1517487685
Petunia I wish we’d done that.
Thanks Wink.
February 1st, 2018 at 01:12 pm 1517490742
February 1st, 2018 at 01:31 pm 1517491907
Second, net worths...my net worth was substantially greater than my husband's when we married. It was a bit of an issue between us in the earlier years. Fifteen years later, it's no longer yours/mine. It is ours. Hang in there. It may take time.
Third, I am with others with allotting DH some money to play with. Open a separate account (Roth or other) for him with the seed money. He can manage and make his contribution. Because in the end, everyone does want to contribute some way. And, remind him that the buy/sell of speakers/magazines, etc. contributes too. Maybe that will spur him on.
Good luck!
February 1st, 2018 at 01:54 pm 1517493297
Trading is not that far removed from gambling, and gambling can be addictive for certain types of people. Please keep a watchful eye on your husband.
I like your pic. I actually have a desk you can lower/raise with a motor and I used it exactly one time. It's sort of like an exercise bike. You may use it a bit early on as a novelty, but after a while, that wears off. At least that's how it seems with me. I hope you will be different.
February 1st, 2018 at 02:24 pm 1517495057
And, doesn't he already have $5000 to play with?
Feel free to delete this one too.
February 1st, 2018 at 03:18 pm 1517498316
You will figure this out, but it will take lots more talking, I am afraid. Years ago, hubby and I went to a financial advisor who gave us a quiz. Our differences about money came from deep, childhood stuff. Luckily, they have grown way more similar over the years.
February 1st, 2018 at 05:55 pm 1517507705
Does DH have a background in economics or finance? Does he have a promotional no fee/low fee trading ROTH a/c? Does he delve into Baltic shipping numbers or follow seasonal trading patterns from 'experts' like Don Vialoux [sorry don't know USA equivalent] I'm really bothered by the fact that DH is gambling with your money, he thus far, has 'no skin in the game.' While you were using earnings to create your retirement plan, it appears he was 'investing' in electronics, magazines and fun stuff that could be sold.. I'd expect to see major effort to turn stuff no longer used or needed into cash for this new, day trading endeavour.
I have the impression that DH doesn't understand this is a long Bull run that is oddly not following history since administration is near to being charged if one believes gossip. Do you remember how 2008 took our breath away?
February 1st, 2018 at 05:57 pm 1517507878
I had a thought this morning- let him hav the fence money. He wants the fence a lot more than I do. If he loses it then the fence will be a lot more years coming. That way the ROTH money will be safe.
What I really don’t get is that even at the end of December when I suggested having a discussion of any changes to goals or budget planning he said it was going fine and no reason to make any changes. Then he gets the bee in his bonnet a about this and suddenly he’s not happy with thing and I’m making all the decisions.
February 1st, 2018 at 08:01 pm 1517515278
I'm sorry, but this seems like a red flag to me. 5k is a significant amount of money.
February 1st, 2018 at 08:21 pm 1517516513
February 1st, 2018 at 09:07 pm 1517519240
Thank you AR2. I haven’t always been good at it. Came from some tough life lessons.
February 1st, 2018 at 09:18 pm 1517519891
So sorry about the money issues.
February 2nd, 2018 at 12:04 am 1517529843
I'm sorry the marital stress over the money is still there.
I HATE it that YOUR debt related goal is to pay off *DH's* student loans. That just points out that when you are married, it's a household budget, not an individual one.
That 5K he already has to "play" with (cringe) is significant. Is the Roth his only retirement plan money or does he have a qualified plan at work as well? If the latter, then let him "play" with his Roth or the fence money and maybe he'll learn a lesson. But if that's his only retirement plan money, then I guess I'd go with a more cautious approach, and in particular, go back to the plan of making him sell his unused stuff to get the money to gamble with (since that is what daytrading is).. Sometimes people have a bad experience and then learn their lesson and are better with their finances afterward (like you), but others get hooked into the gambling mentality and intensify the gambling after a loss in a desperate attempt at recovery.
February 2nd, 2018 at 12:19 am 1517530772
Dido,
The 5k is outside of his ROTH. The ROTH is his only retirement money. About $8k in there I think. $7k contributions plus growth.
He's not going to sell stuff unless he really wants to, and who knows when or if that'll happen. He's got his mind set that he's going to do what he wants to do - and at this point I don't know if he;ll listen to any cautions from me. We'll see. Tonight is supposed to be our date night though I don't feel much like it at all.
February 2nd, 2018 at 12:30 am 1517531406
February 2nd, 2018 at 01:18 am 1517534287
Hope you guys can work together in this or get to some kind of compromise.
February 2nd, 2018 at 02:40 am 1517539206
Good luck.
February 2nd, 2018 at 04:48 am 1517546881
So I feel as though we’ve come to an agreement we both can live with.
February 2nd, 2018 at 03:30 pm 1517585413
Enjoy your date night. This is a long-haul issue and there will be more to be dealt with, but get yourselves back on an even keel for now.
February 5th, 2018 at 07:37 am 1517816246
I don't know what I would do. For a few years I allowed my DH to daytrade in oil commodities our Roth IRA. I forgo control because I was tired from kids and exhausted. Well we lost a bundle of money. A TON of money. But it's fine. Taught him a good long term lesson and now we don't fight about etfs/index funds.
I always preached since we met about etfs. He always listened to his mom about beating the market. Turns out he can't and I bet she can't either. Anyway that being said it was a lot of money. MEH!
He gave up around 2015 and I took back control around then too. Now we're invested in index fund and I've sectored them out and balanced it across the entire portfolio. It took awhile to clean up but I'm feeling more destressed.
I admit to causing the problem by getting absorbed with my kids and letting our finances go on auto-pilot. We saved lived on a 'budget' and I knew we were invested in stock market. Other than that I have to admit to not caring enough from about 2010-2014.
investments but I was so tired.
February 6th, 2018 at 04:56 pm 1517936189