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Archive for April, 2007

Dissapointed :(

April 13th, 2007 at 08:19 pm

Today started out really good. I wasn't in much pain at all - felt the best I have in several weeks. Kept pretty busy the whole day.

Then about 20 minutes before the end of the day I get a call from our VP asking me to see him before I leave.

When I go into his office he asks me to sit down and then calls in our Landman. By this time I've figured out that I'm about to find out about the assistant position I had shown interest in several months ago.

Well, our Landman had figured out what he needed - as far as the job description. I think it actually changed from what he'd at first been thinking because of our CPA/accountant leaving a few weeks ago. The position now entails a lot of math knowledge and analytic ability. Not my forte'.

My coworker who has been the assistant accountant for a little over two years also expressed interest in the position. She has the math background/ability, program knowledge with the particular program, and seniority.

Although I understand their decision, I can't help but feel totally disappointed and sad. I'm really wishing now that i hadn't even said anything about being interested in it.

It's so depressing to look at the next 20 years of my life and see a never ending sea of me standing at a copier making copies or being told to "roll those maps tighter".

I really wish right now I had the financial backing and the gumption to just be able to quit and do something that would actually make me feel like I was doing something worthwhile - something that actually did something to make other people's lives better.

I've always thought that I'd like to be a reading/English tutor - but I'd want to get my Reading Specialist degree and take a number of different tutoring methods coursework before I'd feel comfortable doing that. Even with all that though, it would take a lot of time before I could build up enough clientele to make a living on my own. So, even if I had the money to go back to school and get my Masters, I sure don't have the money to wait out however long it would take to get a good enough client base.

I'm just feeling so disappointed right now. The VP did say something about them looking into getting financing to expand the drilling base and that would make us busier and possibly open up more room for growth/moving up/around. Man, I hope this doesn't mean I won't be typing the Landman's documents/letters anymore - that's one of the highlights of my day.

Update: Jaw Pain

April 12th, 2007 at 02:08 am

Tuesday morning I went to see my regular doctor. I mentioned to her that a number of people had suggested that the problem might be a sinus infection, or possibly TMJ related. After me explaining to her about the location of the pain, as well as the frequency, and then her doing a number of tests, she came up with something that really threw me.

She said that she thinks I have SHINGLES presented without a rash! She told me there are three nerves in the face and the one that is causing me problems is my Cranial Nerve V 2. I had a really bad case of chickenpox when I was 3 - Shingles is a reoccurence of chickenpox - although it usually happens to much older people. lucky me.

She told me that because of the location of it, there could possibly be hearing loss, vision loss or even encephalitis! She gave me a list of ENT (Ear Nose and Throat) docs to make an appt with. I called one and explained what was going on and they told me that what I really needed was an Otolarynogoloist (sp?) or someone who deals with facial nerves.

So, I have an appointment with one on Monday. Until then I am taking these awesome pain meds that make me very loopy, but I much prefer being loopy to being in pain!

I have been trying to find info on Shingles without a rash on the net, but haven't had much luck. I'm also being very paranoid every time I have an itch or a pain anywhere - fearing that a rash might suddenly appear!

All I can say right now is Thank God for my health insurance plan! My coworkers too - they're all being so sweet and worried about me.

Like my mom said, my company may not pay much, but they treat a person right in the other ways that count.

I'm still trying to believe that this is really happening and not a story about someone else. I've always been fairly healthy with few issues (other than weight).

I now can definitely never afford to lose health coverage.

Jaw Pain OUCH!

April 9th, 2007 at 12:40 pm

Anyone know a good way to reduce jaw/tooth pain other than tylenol, etc? I went to the dentist on Friday and he did an xray of the left side of my mouth and couldn't figure out why it's hurting me so much. He's referred me to a specialist who I am going to call today to try to get an appointment with. I've not been sleeping very well - it tends to get very bad at night just as I lay down trying to go to sleep. Right now it's hurting so bad I feel nauseous - and I tend to have a very strong stomach. I've been living on tylenol and tylenol pm for nearly a week now, though it really hasn't helped much. The pain starts in my upper jaw/gums and resonates all the way up my head to the back of my left eye - so much so that I can hardly bear to keep it open. I don't get migraines, but if I did, I think this is pretty close to what maybe a mild one would feel like. The pain comes and goes without warning - no real rhyme or reason that I've been able to figure out yet.

I really hope I can figure something out other than tylenol, etc to take because I know it isn't good to take a lot of that stuff over time - and it isn't really helping that much anyway. I'm losing sleep and my concentration at work is suffering as well.

Sorry mostly this is a rant I guess - but if anyone has any advice on a way to help the pain go away I'd really appreciate it. I usually have a really big pain threshhold - this is reaching my max plus some.