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Dissapointed :(

April 13th, 2007 at 01:19 pm

Today started out really good. I wasn't in much pain at all - felt the best I have in several weeks. Kept pretty busy the whole day.

Then about 20 minutes before the end of the day I get a call from our VP asking me to see him before I leave.

When I go into his office he asks me to sit down and then calls in our Landman. By this time I've figured out that I'm about to find out about the assistant position I had shown interest in several months ago.

Well, our Landman had figured out what he needed - as far as the job description. I think it actually changed from what he'd at first been thinking because of our CPA/accountant leaving a few weeks ago. The position now entails a lot of math knowledge and analytic ability. Not my forte'.

My coworker who has been the assistant accountant for a little over two years also expressed interest in the position. She has the math background/ability, program knowledge with the particular program, and seniority.

Although I understand their decision, I can't help but feel totally disappointed and sad. I'm really wishing now that i hadn't even said anything about being interested in it.

It's so depressing to look at the next 20 years of my life and see a never ending sea of me standing at a copier making copies or being told to "roll those maps tighter".

I really wish right now I had the financial backing and the gumption to just be able to quit and do something that would actually make me feel like I was doing something worthwhile - something that actually did something to make other people's lives better.

I've always thought that I'd like to be a reading/English tutor - but I'd want to get my Reading Specialist degree and take a number of different tutoring methods coursework before I'd feel comfortable doing that. Even with all that though, it would take a lot of time before I could build up enough clientele to make a living on my own. So, even if I had the money to go back to school and get my Masters, I sure don't have the money to wait out however long it would take to get a good enough client base.

I'm just feeling so disappointed right now. The VP did say something about them looking into getting financing to expand the drilling base and that would make us busier and possibly open up more room for growth/moving up/around. Man, I hope this doesn't mean I won't be typing the Landman's documents/letters anymore - that's one of the highlights of my day.

6 Responses to “Dissapointed :(”

  1. HouseHopeful Says:

    I am so sorry to hear that! Although the decision is understandable, its still very disappointing. Hopefully another type of oppurtunity will come up for you soon!

  2. Carolina Bound Says:

    I, too, am so sorry. Don't despair, however, often these disappointments precede an opportunity even better!

  3. debtfreeme Says:

    I am so sorry too. I have been there.

    My local library has a reading tutoring program that is free to volunteers and tutorees (is that a word?). I would look into that because it might help provide some clarity about reading programs.

    You have a teaching back ground; our local library also has a kids club for homework every day after school for 3 hours and on Saturdays. The person who runs it works part time but there is a manager who makes sure the club runs in the 15 local libraries. Some thing to think about too.

    what about becoming a leader to a girl scout troop? taking some of your teaching skills and working in a low income area? not being a teacher but reaching out and giving to the community.

    The one question I want to ask you, what gives you the best smile on your face when you are doing it? What brings you the most pleasure? Maybe we can steer you into a whole new area and help you figure out and how can you make money doing it!

  4. frugaltexan75 Says:

    Thank you everyone. I think I could have handled this better if it weren't for everything else going on right now. I'm really trying to remember that things happen for a reason. It was so providential how I got this job in the first place ....

    As far as what makes me really smile - at my current job what I enjoy the most is doing stuff for the landman -typing up legal documents, letters etc. I do also enjoy doing the research, finding information on the varioius wells and hunting down the well logs.

    What *really* makes me smile though is being around little ones. I loved teaching with my whole heart. I loved my kids. I just got so burned out by not being able to teach in the way I had learned through much personal research (reading, classes, and my own students) how to best teach and reach kids. I also grew quite weary of dealing with parents of perfect kids. Working a 40 hour week with no Saturdays or Sundays has been wonderful. Not working with kids has been hard.

  5. JanH Says:

    Volunteers help the kids in reading at schools, too. Course that might be just during your workday. So sorry the position didn't work out for you. It's totally understandable that you are disappointed.

  6. Thrifty Ray Says:

    There is nothing worse that being in a postion that doesn't meet your interests and qualifications. I can understand your disappointment...but I am sure you were meant to find something 'better!' You'll know the position when it comes along...and when you find it, you'll understand why you needed to wait a little longer!!

    Good luck!!!

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