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Home > Update on SIL situation, groceries/health challenge/$$

Update on SIL situation, groceries/health challenge/$$

July 7th, 2017 at 08:43 pm

I contacted a lawyer through the EAP program at work on Wednesday afternoon. I finally heard back from him this afternoon.

We had about a 12 minute phone conversation. He basically said that we don't need to contact/notify estranged husband. That he is not eligible for any money from SIL's estate. Also, that we should not do anything else as far as notifying, etc. until we are able to file a small estate affidavit 30 days after death.

Once that is filed, then we can do whatever is needed to be done (and pay ourselves back for cremation costs.)

I told this to DH, and he is now wanting to place an obituary. So we'll be working on that this weekend.

So I got DH to watch "What the Health" this past week with me. Then on Thursday he got a call from his nephew (41 yo) saying that he'd been to the heart specialist and was told that he'd had a heart attack at some point recently.

DH has agreed to do a 21 day health challenge. He's going to try to eat basically a vegan diet. He will also give up his Mtn Dew for those 21 days (but drink juice or sweet tea instead ... at least no chemical junk.)

After watching SIL die, I also decided to take it up a notch. It's now been almost two weeks since I've had any form of dairy or processed/refined sugar. I'm also limiting oil/salt (although I never have really used either that much.)

I told DH that if at the end of the 21 days he doesn't feel a remarkable difference, that I would not ever ask him to change his diet again. (I do however reserve the right to ask our dinners together be healthy.)

I'm not going to try to get him to avoid salt/oil because I think he'd totally rebel on the whole idea. But 21 days of lots of fruits and veggies and beans and leafy greens ... even with eating oil/salt/sugar ... a huge improvement has to be made!

The challenge won't start til a week from Sunday so we have time to figure out what is workable for him.

I bought the ingredients for Fire Engine 2 Rescue Sweet Potato Lasagna and a "meat"loaf recipe too. Plus lots of fruits and veggies and nuts.

I also bought a cast iron griddle from Aldi.

I spent a lot of money ... $44 at Walmart and ~$40 at Aldi. Also $42 at Petco. An expensive couple of hours.

(I used my $25 gift card at Walmart)
Speaking of expensive ...

My stock went from 379 to 308 in the past week. I had thought I set stop loss orders at 350 and 325 for a huge chunk. Apparently I didn't do it right.

I ended up selling 80% of my holdings for 317 Thursday morning. Ugh.

Once the funds settle I plan on putting them into index funds. Nice and stable growth. (All but $5k of stock were in IRA's)

9 Responses to “Update on SIL situation, groceries/health challenge/$$”

  1. LuckyRobin Says:

    If the vegan thing doesn't work out for him, I've seen both the Paleo diet and Keto diet work for people who are morbidly obese.

  2. creditcardfree Says:

    I'm glad to hear you can move forward with handling the sister in law's estate.

  3. PatientSaver Says:

    I'm glad you finally got to talk to an attorney. I'm sure you feel more in control of the situation now, knowing what you should do.

    Good news on the diet situation. I haven't been able to watch What the Health yet; not sure it's available on Amazon Prime. Both the Mediterranean and the MIND diet are good, but I would definitely say that the less meat/dairy/cheese/oil and even fish the better. Although I don't think having wild Alaskan sockeye salmon once a week is that bad.

    I have been making my own rather tasty oil-free salad dressings for a few months now. Since I eat leafy greens every day, a huge bowl, this is important. I can share some recipes if you like. One of the simplest would be equal parts Dion mustard, balsamic vinegar and maple syrup.

    At some point this year I might like to have a physical so I can see my bloodwork and whether I've been as good about sticking to a mostly vegan diet as I think I've been. I've certainly been eating more beans in the past year than I have in the past decade before that. Same with the salads. I was never much of a salad eater before, but now I am; I put everything but the kitchen sink into my salads: typically, marinated artichokes, pickled beets, a can of any kind of beans, chopped raw red onion, chopped mini bell peppers, tomatoes, cukes, organic croutons.

  4. PatientSaver Says:

    A few weeks ago I stopped using the homemade sheets I'd made where I could check off all the different food categories and the servings you're supposed to be eating daily (cruciferous, greens, nuts, turmeric, fruit, veggies, grains, etc). I guess I was feeling lazy.

    While I've still been following Dr. Greger's diet, I do feel it's been more sloppily done and I know my "compliance" is not nearly as high as it was when I used my charts. So I'm thinking I've got to get back to the charts.

  5. VS_ozgirl Says:

    An obituary is a good idea.. is there any way that the estranged husband can be mailed the obituary so that he knows she has passed (but after her account has been used to pay her memorial expenses)? .. it's so hard to know when to sell a stock when they drop down in price because they can sometimes rise back up.. I hear good things about index funds though because they have a bit more exposure to different stocks. Good luck, hope you have more success next time around.

  6. Out of the Dark Says:

    The attorney route is always best. Kudos to you. Best of luck.

  7. ceejay74 Says:

    Glad you're figuring out the SIL situation.

    I think if you're not eating animal fats (meat, dairy and eggs) then oil isn't really a problem. I don't skimp on oil when cooking and my blood pressure and good/bad cholesterol are always top-notch. Same with salt--though I'd say that different bodies respond to salt differently. I've never had to worry about salt since I don't eat too much fast food, ready meals or restaurant food.

  8. rob62521 Says:

    Glad you spoke to an attorney. Glad you are figuring out this SIL thing and hope things go smoothly.

    I think your spending was for necessary stuff even if you felt it was expensive. A good cook needs good tools. For years I fought with cheap materials and pans. I don't have top of the line stuff now, but I have, through rummage sales, thrift shops, and estate sales, managed to find good pots and pans, spatulas, spoons, and other kitchen items to make cooking more of a pleasure. I bought decent knives and try to keep them sharp for ease in chopping.

  9. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    Thanks everyone.

    LR - I think he'd love the Paleo diet ...

    PS - I'd love recipes!

    I'm not much of a salad person either .. most of my "checks" are in my morning smoothie. Smile
    I'm thinking of doing index cards to help DH keep track of what he's eaten during the day. 3 cards for beans, 2 cards for other veggies, etc. I'll list examples on the cards.

    Ceejay - I don't know, you may be right. I'm just going off of some of the videos I've seen from nutritionfacts.org (Dr. Greger.) DH eats LOTS of fast food, restaurant food, etc. So he likes his stuff SALTY. (And has high blood pressure ...)

    Robb - You're right. It's just that we have now spent nearly 2/3rds of our grocery budget for the month (with DH stopping at the store last night to get his "last ditch meat and junkfood" items ...)

    It seems like the more you try to "make" dishes, the more expensive it is - but if you just keep it simple - rice, beans, veggies in different varieties with fruit .. it can be kept fairly inexpensive. I bought stuff for two "dishes" ... and that nearly doubled what I normally spend.

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