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Division of Chores

February 21st, 2016 at 09:57 pm

I'm wondering how everyone who lives with at least one other adult divides household /yard chores? Especially two full-time working adults?

One system I'm thinking about is making a list of all possible chores and assigning them points. Then each person needs to do at least 150 points worth of chores each week, besides picking up after themselves.

Mowing the lawn / shoveling snow might be worth 30 points. Cleaning the bathroom might be worth 10 points. Doing laundry worth 5 points. Cleaning cat litter boxes - 10 points. Taking out trash - 10 points. Etc.

Do you think something like that might work?

What do you do?

22 Responses to “Division of Chores”

  1. Petunia in a Flower Garden Says:
    1456092317

    Probably the easiest system is the one that I read in The Tightwad Gazette (can't remember which volume) many years ago - that each person devote the same number of hours to the household.

    That was particularly geared toward the couple in which one person worked outside the home and the other stayed at home. But it seems that it could be reasonably applicable in other situations.

    My sister and her husband - empty nesters - he does the yard work and cooks, she does the laundry and cleans. It works for them.

  2. FrugalTexan75 Says:
    1456093458

    Interesting - I wonder how the time spent would be tracked? I'll have to see if I can get a copy of the gazette from the library. I used to have one, but decluttered it a long time ago. Smile

  3. Jenn Says:
    1456094790

    I think too, you consider who appreciates/hates certain tasks. I HATE cleaning bathrooms, for example. It's fair to me to do several loads of laundry, including ironing, in exchange for not doing bathrooms, even if my husband can make quick work of them.

  4. creditcardfree Says:
    1456094850

    CB has my copy of The Tightwad Gazette. Or she did at one point! Smile
    We've done it various ways. I primarily do laundry and cooking, planning of meals, and finances. I've stayed home 85% of our marriage, so more cleaning does get put on me. And I do more things for the kids. Currently, I would say DH does more cleaning and nearly always does the yard work. He has also been taking out garbage and handling kitty litter, which is a bit of a change since we've moved. No real discussion about it.

    My husband told me I was going to start laundry today and I said no. I wanted to do it. And I told him it's because I'm worried he'll do it wrong...dry something he isn't suppose to. It's not that he never does or never allow it, I just prefer to do it.

  5. MonkeyMama Says:
    1456096566

    I think it's great to come up with a chore plan up front, and just important to communicate well on what is or isn't working.

    I'd say for us it took a long time to evolve where everyone is happy. (& I expect this was significantly sped up with reverse gender roles. Nothing like walking in other person's shoes). But in the end, whoever whines less about certain chores does them. I suppose we maybe thought about that less up front but is where things ended up. Neither of us does any chores that we hate or can not stand. & I mean, doesn't mean we don't do chores we don't like. But they are chores we can live with. Or there are some chores that one of us just doesn't mind at all. The yard work, for example, would never get done and was the only thing we fought about after several years of marriage. So we just hired it out.

  6. CB in the City Says:
    1456096783

    Yes, CCF, I still have it! I like to get it out and flip through it for inspiration every once in a while!

    I think you'll find that there are natural lines of division as you go along. When I was married, I did all the laundry, and about 3/4 of the cooking. I did most of the picking up and he did most of the heavy cleaning. (Believe it or not, my husband liked to clean!) He did all of the yardwork. And I did almost all of the childcare and pet care, but I was always either at home full-time or working part-time.

  7. LivingAlmostLarge Says:
    1456104441

    I do most of the cleaning. My DH hates it. I am hiring a cleaner again this week. I'm done and he won't do it. He's not clean. Before kids I did most of the cleaning and he basically only cooked. but at the same time I don't do home repair anymore period. I might have to watch the kids during home repairs, car repairs, etc. My DH has mowed the lawn, all leaf raking, gardening, all home repairs, changing air filters on car, light bulbs on cars, wiring on cars and house, drywall repair, horse hair plaster repair, painting, scraping, installing anything and I do nothing anymore. I used to help but with kids now he figures out how to do all DIY projects himself.

  8. jp Says:
    1456107425

    We both HATE doing chores with a passion. I started a chore jar, where I listed out all the possible chores that may need to be done on separate pieces of paper, then each evening we pull a slip...sometimes we'll trade each other, or if we both agree it can't be done (like washing the car in sub-freezing weather) then we can draw another. Or we can decide to pick our own and not pull from the jar. We have to work on the project for at least 15 minutes - usually it's the getting started that holds us back, but if we're really not feeling it, we can at least push through 15 minutes. My mom used to have a wheel (we called it the wheel of doom) where the circle of paper was split into 4 sections and 5+ chores were listed on each section. Each week the wheel spun and each name moved into the next section, then we had a week to finish each chore listed. Hated that thing, but it seemed to work Smile

  9. Butterscotch Says:
    1456112903

    I'm not sure how sensitive a subject this will be with your fiancé, but in my experience you might want to call this list of activities something other than "chores". I've had experience with people becoming resentful because they feel like "chores" are something children do. Your fiancé might be fine with the word, but we just call them responsibilities in my house so that no one feels like they are being "managed".

    Good luck!

  10. Frugaltexan75 Says:
    1456119436

    Thanks everyone!

  11. Ima saver Says:
    1456164813

    I am sure no one wants to hear my answer. My husband is a perfectionist and wants every thing done just so. So, I let him do it. He has always dones all the cleaning, yard work, fix it projects and for the last few years, ALL of the cooking. I handle the money (and make us rich) and it works for me!!

  12. creditcardfree Says:
    1456193605

    I think that is perfectly fine, Ima, if that is what works for both of you! There is no one way. Or right way. It is what the couple can agree to and both live with. Smile

  13. Petunia 100 Says:
    1456198356

    Years ago, my then 19 year old niece was living with my then husband and I, and I found that I was getting stuck with ALL of the household chores. So I devised a chore sheet. Each day there were 3 sets of 2 chores (so 6 chores in total). I asked that each of them do 1 set of 2 chores each day, and I would do the third set. The rule was whoever did chores first got to choose which set they wanted, and so on. It really helped. Smile

  14. FrugalTexan75 Says:
    1456199000

    Ima - I would love it if that were the case here. LOL So not the case though. I'm a mediocre housekeeper, and MR FT is .... not as good as I am at housekeeping. There aren't really any chores I hate, but not any I really enjoy either. Smile

    Petunia100 - Oh, I like! How did you come up with the chore list?

  15. Buendia Says:
    1456252282

    We came up with a list of all the chores (no points, but we sat down and came to an agreement on how often those chores needed to happen - daily, weekly, monthly). The next step was to talk about what each of us hated to do (me: mopping! but it turned out he's ok with mopping). Then we talked about things we wanted to do (me: bathrooms which was ok because no one likes bathrooms except me!). We assigned chores like that.

    Warning: it's still not even. I do more.

    Also - be sure to value what the other person does that you don't do (like D fixes our internet; all I have to do is yell "aahhhhh!" and he lets the dog out for the last time each evening and back in again which is great because it's COLD right now).

  16. Petunia 100 Says:
    1456286799

    I just put chores that should be done daily or almost daily. And I set limits. Such as, if the chore was "laundry", it meant wash, dry, fold, and put away 1 load of laundry. It could even be that person's own laundry, that was fine.

    My idea was that if we could just get those 6 things done each day, the house would stay at a reasonable level of cleanliness and order.

  17. FrugalTexan75 Says:
    1456287023

    Thanks Buendia! Oh, I doubt it'll be an even division here either. I'm just hoping to compromise enough to make it slightly less lopsided. Smile
    Petunia100 -- Good idea! Thank you! Just a little bit done each day is helpful.

  18. Buendia Says:
    1456330306

    I can share my list if it helps! I have it all typed out so it's just cut/paste....

  19. FrugalTexan75 Says:
    1456365388

    Yes Buendia, I'd love it!

  20. ThriftoRama Says:
    1456456413

    I've been married 14 years. For the typical everyday chores...
    I cook, so he cleans up the dishes. He folds and puts away all the laundry. He vacuums the manspace downstairs. I handle the bathrooms 90 percent of the time. We mow about 50-50, but I handle the food garden. That handles our everyday life.

    I also made a deck of laminated cards, each has one 10 to 15-minute special cleaning job on it. Every day, we pick one from the stack. It's stuff like cleaning the windows in the living room, scrubbing out the microwave, dusting in the living room, etc. It's worked really well. These are little jobs that need done, but can easily fall through the cracks in a busy day with kids. Each task doesn't take long, and it's fair because we're both doing one every day. It also means a cleaner house, because we know these things are getting done at least once a month.

  21. FrugalTexan75 Says:
    1456493270

    Thrift - I LOVE the laminated cards idea. Smile
    I'm getting so many good ideas from all of you. Thank you all!

  22. natasha.cornelius Says:
    1456526174

    I'm fortunate that my boyfriend (together 5.5 years, living together for 3) and I are both relatively clean people. I'm a little cleaner in the fact that he sometimes leaves dirty dishes on the counter overnight and I hate that. If I happen to be in the kitchen before bed and see that he did leave dirty dishes out with food on them, I can't walk away. I scoop all the food into the trash and then soak the dishes in the sink to finish the next day.
    I clean up after our pets because they technically are "mine" (I adopted them.)
    He typically cleans the bathroom... especially the toilet. I'll sweep and scrub the sink once in awhile, but I avoid the toilet. That's his realm.
    We take turns with dishes, vacuuming, and laundry. Whoever is home and happens to not be doing something and chores need to be done, that person will get the chores done.
    We've never really discussed our system, it just happened and we've never felt the need to change up anything.

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