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Still Chugging Along

March 9th, 2018 at 07:33 pm

I've been doing the Drop It challenge for a bit over a week now. So far, so good. I've actually been eating a salad everyday for lunch! (Unheard of! Esp with grape tomatoes ...)

I haven't found it too difficult yet. And it appears to be working - have lost about two lbs. 5lbs to go to get back to my Jan 1 weight. Sigh.

Today was day 5 of my Stepbet. I just need one more active day for this week.

I have decided to do barre videos at home instead of messing with going to a class. At least for now.

AMEX sent me an upgrade offer to the card that pays 6% back on groceries. Annual fee waived the first year and $150 bonus when you spend $3k in the first 3 months.

Sweet. My property taxes will take care of $1400 of it, then there's a chewy.com (cat food) offer spend $75 get $25 back, plus use it for groceries ... no problem.

I'll just have to set a reminder to downgrade in eleven months.

I opened two more accounts.

One with the MoneyBank - make 3 $200+ ACH deposits and get a $100 bonus.

The second with another Christian based credit union (which does include Catholics unlike the other one) for a 12 month 4% CD for $4000.

I haven't closed Northpointe yet because I'm waiting for my dd to get switched.

I was talking to DH about it and he of course was like, "Why don't you give me the money - I'll make a lot more than 4 %." Oh yeah ... like the 2.6% you barely eked out after 6 weeks (stock he bought and sold) Rolling my eyes.

So back when we figured out how to squeeze $1k/month for our ROTH's from our budget. one of the things we did was to say that we were not going to budget any spending money. Spending money would come from non-main job hours/activities. (Swagbucks, etc for me)

After a few months I saw that DH wasn't getting any spending money and was worried that he'd get frustrated and want to stop the ROTH funding. So ... I said -why don't you keep anything you make over $120 on Friday and Saturdays? (cash) He'd been fairly consistently bringing $10 - 20 over that on those nights.

Then ... he had nights where he was bringing in $50 - 80 above that! There were also a few Fridays where he came in significantly under $120. Or weeknights where he was bringing in less than usual.

It was making our budget very squeaky.

I kept waiting for him to say something like - I shouldn't be taking all of this extra on weeks my other nights are low. Let me even it out.

Didn't happen.

So at our last budget meeting I brought it up. He wasn't too happy, but wasn't surprised either. Mostly he was annoyed because I was tinkering with our budget plan again. (Which I think is funny because there's been at least two times where the major changes came as a result of something he wanted ...)

So we agreed to a base amount he would contribute to the family budget. Over that, he gets to keep it. This will help keep the budget more even.

But ... the other night he tells me that he's now more motivated to work harder at work because he knows it means more money for him. I asked him why didn't it motivate you to contribute to the family budget? He said ... The family budget has plenty of money. This is MY money.

Anyone see something off here? Or is it just me?
I really wish I'd never brought the idea up in the first place.

*Note - I'm not posting this to be negative towards DH. I honestly just am wondering if my thoughts on this are off base or not. Maybe it's a case of where we both are still struggling with the his/hers/ours thing. We both were so old getting married .. both pretty set in our $ ways ...

10 Responses to “Still Chugging Along”

  1. Carol Says:

    I don't know, but it sounds a bit like still getting used to each other's ways and to being married.

  2. Amber Says:

    Just wondering what's the name of the Christian credit union?
    And as far as hubby, I agree with Carol seems like you're just ironing out some little bumps

  3. creditcardfree Says:

    The truth is we all have our own points of view. I think he sees that you have everything under control as far as household finances. Am I right to say that your plan for the family is better than anything he did for himself while single? I take care of our finances and DH seems pretty happy with everything until I say let's try not to eat out as much, or let's cancel Netflix (won't happen as he and our daughter's use it regularly)...anything that involves him making major changes to his routine are not looked at very openly. But despite that we still make progress...and I have learned that its okay to spend some money that makes us each happy.

    I can see how he's annoyed to tweak the budget, but that is going to happen...hopefully he'll get used to that. What is he using his extra money for?

  4. ceejay74 Says:

    That kind of thinking has cropped up from time to time with AS and NT. Like the shared household money is more “mine” and goes to “my” priorities so they would like more money to use on “theirs.” I usually just remind them that we do have the same wish for financial security and a comfortable retirement; it’s just they don’t think about it as much. Heck, I feel like I have to exercise my self-denial more than they do, because I see how much money we’re bringing in vs what I’m allowed to spend on my individual wants!

    They’ve always come around when we’ve discussed it, but it will recur occasionally, because financial security isn’t something they think about and work toward every day. It’ll never be as top of mind for them.

  5. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    You are probably right. Although, I'm sure MY way of doing things is the BEST way ... Big Grin (just kidding)

    It's America's Christian Credit Union.

    Yep, I would definitely say that my financial planning is better than what he was doing for himself. He's pretty much like your DH it sounds like - as long as I don't suggest any changes, he doesn't really care too much.

    He's using the extra money to buy stocks, buy fish/coral tank paraphernalia, fast food, clothes, other hobby related stuff (esp stuff that he says he can buy low and sell high ... someday in the nebulous future) etc.

    I spend my spending money on ... tithe/offering/giving (gofundme, etc), clothing, junkfood (when eating it), electronic gadgets, and the cruise coming up. Smile Different priorities.

    Yes, I think that is kind of how he feels too. I have the whole family budget to spend and "play" with - even though it's all spending which benefits us both - with maybe two exceptions - 1. groceries - most of the grocery money is my food because he tends to east at work or fast food ... 2. gas - most of the gas money is his - he fills up every few days, I fill up maybe 2x a month. So in reality it evens out.

    I definitely have finances /financial health on my mind much more than he does. Even his stock playing is more towards the goal of being able to get his bigger ticket toys - like a boat, etc.

  6. ceejay74 Says:

    If he primarily deals in electronics, they're not going to get more valuable sitting in the basement, right? With how quickly things get upgraded, it seems like they'd be in danger of depreciating instead. Maybe reminding him of that would spur him into action to sell--he seems to be a growth-oriented guy in terms of money (at least in theory).

    In either case, he doesn't seem like he's going to step up to the plate and put a ton more effort into your shared household anytime soon. He doesn't sound bad, just not very practical or motivated. So getting him fully on board might be a lost cause. Sounds like you're doing the right thing giving him little pressure valve releases of money, and try not to take it too hard when he says stuff like he did about the family budget. Wink

  7. FrugalTexan75 Says:


    He deals in old electronics - stuff from the 70's/80's. The main thing with them sitting in the basement (or garage) is mice getting into them, cats messing with them, and humidity/temp changes. Otherwise time won't really devalue them.

    I think you're right. It's hard to not take it personally when I see all the things / places in the family budget that could use more funding. And he just sees the overall number and thinks we have way more than enough. Different viewpoints.

  8. ytsmom Says:

    I'm wondering about paying your property tax with CC. Our county (in Nebraska) charges a fee for paying with CC

  9. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    ytsmom - Yes, so does ours. 2.3?% - so $32. With the $150 spending bonus, it still gives me a net profit of $128. I couldn't spend $2k on an American Express in 3 months otherwise. $600 - easy.

  10. creditcardfree Says:

    I wondered about the fee for property tax too, I'm glad you are aware. And yes, sometimes it is worth it to pay! Smile

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