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February 6th, 2016 at 01:36 am

Well, as of Thursday we have our marriage license, and we also completed our first pre-marital counseling session.

This afternoon I finally got a couple returns mailed off to Amazon.

I am seriously exhausted. I'd like to take a week off from wedding planning .. but have appointments Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday next week - all dealing with wedding planning.

I know it's my fault for having set it up like this. I guess I'm hoping that by having the majority of it taken care of early on, that I'll then be able to relax a bit for awhile before the wedding.

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I'm beginning to reconsider having a video of the wedding.

Question: How many of you had a video made? How often have you actually looked at it?

Another question: Did any of you play the shoe game at your reception, or perhaps seen it played? What did you think of it?

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I've done pretty well with spending so far this month. Other than wedding related spending, bills and groceries, not much else has been spent.

Of course, it still is just the 5th. Smile

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I had a bloodwork appointment this morning. A few days ago in the mail I got new insurance cards with my married name on them. I thought that was weird, but was reassured that it didn't mean anything (by personnel benefits person.)

Today though I found out that my name has been changed in the system for the provider as well. What should have been a 3 minute in and out trip, took nearly ten while they figured out what to do.

I just hope it doesn't cause issues in getting things paid! (I have been reassured that this does NOT mean that I'm going to start getting charged couple premiums.)

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Do any of you have any good books/resources for someone who has a tendency to clam up/clench up/not be able to get words out when upset or talking about something difficult? That's me.

At the PMC session we got our "scores." Both of us scored low for self-esteem. I was higher in assertiveness (not all that surprising, at least in dealing with public situations or customer service people ...) Overall it said we were a "vital" couple. (Next to best rating I guess.)

I was seriously interested in the personality profile assessments though. One of the most accurate ones I think I've ever seen - for both of us. Kari's asleep on my lap right now, so I can't get it, but I think it's called SCORE or something like that.

Edit -- Nope, its called PREPARE-ENRICH.

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Another question: What did you do for your guest book?

What I'm thinking about is either having guests take a picture of themselves and then writing a note with advice or memories. Then pasting them in a scrapbook. We could add other stuff in there too. --This would mean I'd need to find a Polaroid camera ...

Or I could ask people to bring one - three photos of themselves with either of us & them, plus a note.

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Cashed out for a $25 PayPal today from Swagbucks and a $5 AGC from Bing.

Got a $.90 rebate from MobiSave from my shopping trip today.

16 Responses to “Updates”

  1. alice4now Says:
    1454723785

    If you want to do pictures then I would go with the suggestion to borrow or buy a polaroid instant or Fujifilm instax mini. Keep in mind, though, that besides the cost of the camera the film will run about $15 for every 10 pictures. Not super cheap.

    A simpler, and cheaper, idea might be to mat a photo of the two of you, and have your guests sign the mat. After the wedding you can pop it back into a frame and hang it in your new home together.

  2. FrugalTexan75 Says:
    1454724031

    Alice,

    I was pricing out Polaroids and the film today. You are right - definitely not cheap. The best deal I saw was $70 for a camera and a twin pack of film (20.) A good bit more than I was thinking about spending ...

    We'd have to get a nice photo taken of us for that ... maybe it still could be done. Maybe a sitting at a JC Penny's or something. If I could talk him into it....

  3. snafu Says:
    1454725179

    Guest book: A much loved, very elderly great aunt gifted me a pastel colored, 36" x 36" tablecloth. She suggested we assign someone to ensure every guest sign the tablecloth with a Sharpie. My mom and her friends embroidered every signature and while I'd forgotten it in the craziness of the months following, mom sent it in time for our first anniversary dinner. We still use it as an overlay on the table or buffet set up on super special occasions. I doubt after all these years I'd still use and enjoy a typical guest book.

  4. FrugalTexan75 Says:
    1454725339

    I love that Snafu! I have no idea who I could get to embroider the names though.

  5. ceejay74 Says:
    1454728022

    Hmm...no, I can't even remember if we did a guest book. We planned our wedding in a month because we weren't sure when exactly NT would get his visa and be able to come to the US, and when he did, we wanted to get married asap! We did want pictures that looked "real" for the permanent resident visa, so we did some of the stuff people do, but I didn't even try to emulate all the crazy details. I'd do what sounds fun and not a hassle, and let the rest go. Even though ours was thrown together and in some sense just a formality (we'd be together whether or not we had a ceremony), I did really love it. My favorite moments were at the "real" ceremony holding onto NT's hands while our friend read the vows; everything just kind of fell away and it was so intense. And then we did an unofficial ceremony that night at the reception with AS; I remember her hands were ice cold in mine, so I moved her mid-ceremony so she could clutch onto NT's as well for support, she was so nervous. All the other details were nice but could not beat the actual vows.

  6. FrugalTexan75 Says:
    1454728190

    Thank you ceejay for sharing that. It sounds like a truly special moment in your lives. I hope I can say the same a few months from now.

  7. MonkeyMama Says:
    1454736643

    I agree with ceejay. Skip as much minutiae as possible. One thing I don't remember is vetting a lot of people. Get good recommendations and then you won't be having to meet with so many people. (I think we already knew or liked everyone we hired on first impression. It was only the venue that I remember checking out several places before we found *the one*. Of course, if I had a bad gut feeling I'd keep shopping, but I will say we had high quality recommendations, which thinking back I now see saved us a lot of time in the planning process).

    As to the video, we did not hire a videographer and this is maybe the one regret my dh has about our wedding. I don't think he regrets not hiring somebody (he likes keeping his money). But we married just before HD and all that. So if he could change one thing about our wedding, he'd have someone he trusts film it with his current HD/professional camera. Which probably would have cost 10 times as much in 2000, if it even would have been available technology. (We just had a family friend take the video and it was really a lot crappier than we were expecting. He does some professional video work, so I don't know. ???). My dh did go through and re-edit the video that we do have. We are just stuck with the limitations of the camera and the camera work, but I think his re-work of it was pretty good. It certainly exceeds my expectations. I think it just bugs my dh because he has made so many spectacular wedding videos for other people.

    So maybe it is because I am married to a videophile, but we do cherish the video footage that we do have. That said, given modern technology, maybe you can just ask a guest to video the ceremony and/or highlights?

    All of that said, my in-laws just have a voice recording of their wedding ceremony and they cherish that too. If you don't do a video that might be something easier to do.

  8. pjmama Says:
    1454764208

    We didn't hire a videographer, and after the fact I really wished I would have, at least for the ceremony. Kicking myself because I could have set up my own camera on a tripod, but I just didn't want one more thing to worry about. Ah well... So even if you find someone with a standard videocamera (or cameraphone), I'd suggest having someone capture it. I look through my wedding photos about once a week, still, and have a few around my house Smile I LOVE them.

    Re: the shoe game, we did that at our "Stock the Bar Party"/bridal shower. I've seen it done at a lot of weddings, and it's one of the few game type things I actually find to be really cute. Makes for some fun and people seem to really enjoy it. I just didn't want anything like that on the actual day. I was a bit picky Smile

    Our wedding had a travel theme to it, so I found a big old atlas online and had people find a place they love or would want to visit and write a message on that page. In the end, it was nice to see the places people find special to them - and I love having that big old atlas! I agree with some previous commenters that the polaroid thing is expensive (and a bit confusing to manage). I have seen the photo/mat idea a few times. It's so low cost. Also, a lot of my clients will put together photo books with images of the couple - you can print them pretty cheaply online now.

    Definitely give yourself a break from the planning here soon. It's easy to get burnt out fast! And you want to enjoy it as much as possible Smile

  9. FrugalTexan75 Says:
    1454770094

    MM - Thank you for your perspective. I'm not going to multiple vendors for the same thing, except for the catering - that I have two people I'm looking at. Sunday I have an appointment with someone to make a bouquet/boutonniere, Monday I have an appointment with the person to make the alterations, Tuesday I meet with the first of two caters, Thursday is the second PMC session, and then Friday is meeting with the second caterer. Then Valentine's Sunday, I'm helping to make the food for the Valentine's Day tea, helping with the tea itself, and then whatever Mr FT and end up doing. So maybe that week, other than a PMC session, I'll do nothing wedding related. Smile

    I really do want a video of the ceremony, I guess I'm just trying to see where I can cut corners in order to come as close as possible to the $2500 mark. I'm not really sure about the photographer/video person I talked to via FB IM, so am going to talk to one other person on that - though I'm not sure if he does video or not.

    Pjmama - My aunt is supposed to be bringing my dad's video cameras back with her when she comes. So we could use one of those (or perhaps both? to get two angles? would just have to figure out how/where to get tripods.)

    I'm glad to hear you have seen the shoe game done and thought it was a good idea. Smile
    Are you saying the couples make a photo book of themselves, and have the guests sign it? That way we could use photos we already have.. Hmm... The atlas idea sounds perfect for your theme!

    I think I will give myself a breather the week of Valentine's.

  10. scottish girl Says:
    1454773428

    My bridesmaids bought a book and asked guests to write in it. I thought it was lovely. My uncle both made us a DVD which we've watch maybe five times max but the first few were just watching with the bridal party at a later date.
    Never heard of the shoe game.
    I love my wedding photos way more than the DVD. Smile

  11. livingalmostlarge Says:
    1454776160

    A friend did he video but he never sent it to us. Sigh. Oh well.

  12. creditcardfree Says:
    1454777011

    There is a video on VHS of our ceremony. I have it but I don't think we have ever watched it. I now don't even have the option...without getting a VHS player. My brother in law videotaped our reception, but I also have never watched it. We were pregnant pretty soon after our marriage...I guess we got distracted!! I don't know what the quality is at all. Some video is probably better than no video.

    My aunt gifted us with a fill in the blank wedding album (3 ring binder type) from Hallmark that had a section for guests to sign. Good enough for me and still would be. A signature reminds you who was there. Guest will likely give you at least a card with their thoughts and sentiments on it. For me, I feel too much pressure to say something fabulous and sign a matted photo.

    Your feelings and memories on your wedding day, IMO, are going to outweigh any keepsakes. The wedding business is BIG...there are many places to spend your money, but not all of them are necessary.

    You can buy tripods at Walmart, Target, online or a photography store. You might ask for some on Craigslist. I'm sure this is something some people buy for an event and never use again.

  13. FrugalTexan75 Says:
    1454785850

    Thanks SG. Smile
    That's too bad LAL

    CCF - You could get it transferred to DVD. Smile
    I like that idea too - 3 ring binder album.

    That's what I'm trying to figure out - what are things that are truly wanted vs things that hype says we should need. Smile
    I will definitely check Craigslist!

  14. VS_ozgirl Says:
    1454795923

    I also can never get words out in difficult situations but haven't overcome this! Wish I could help. Things I have heard that are helpful: in tense situations, "speak the truth even if your voice shakes". Depends on who you are dealing with though- this has worked with me with people who aren't particularly volatile. The more volatile the person though, the less you want to deal with them though, so nothing gets said in this instance. If you are talking about your vows and thank you speech, I would advise to rehearse rehearse rehearse. This way everything is pretty much programmed and it will be easier.

  15. FrugalTexan75 Says:
    1454797828

    Thanks VS, I'm talking more about when I'm being confronted by someone else, or am trying to discuss something difficult with Mr FT ... drives him nuts. For the vows, I think I'll be okay since I'll just have to repeat after my uncle and will be looking at Mr FT. Smile

  16. creditcardfree Says:
    1454811988

    Yes, eventually I could have it transferred!

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