It's been a bit since I last posted. One big reason is because something happened which made me really ticked off, and I didn't want to spew it all out here.
Long story short. My mom has filed for divorce and has moved out. This, after she assured me that she and stepdad had a plan in place if things weren't working between them. So, that leaves me in the very awkward position of renting a room in the home of my soon to be ex stepdad. Yay!
I've been told that I'm welcome to stay. Which is what I've decided to do. One year with four different addresses is way more than enough.
Ugh.
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My ankle is pretty much healed. Tailbone, not so much. Today between driving to church, SS, church, then driving home, meant over 4 hours of sitting. Even with the modified donut, it was too much.
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Things have worked out with my library mentor. I'll be doing a storytime for the church school on Tuesday - kind of a dry run. Then at my mentors school on Thursday. Tuesday I'm also going to be working with my ASL teacher to start learning the signs for my video blog storytime.
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I seem to be back on track with my eating now - which is good, because usually when my eating is off kilter, so are my finances.
April might be a very tight month financially. Although it wouldve been more so if one of my tutorees hadn't decided to not go away over Spring Break.
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So, can anyone tell me. What's the point of getting married or being in a relationship??? Seriously, as lonely as I feel sometimes, is it that much better to be in a relationship or marriage where your partner isn't willing or able to give it a chance - to work through the hard times? I know there are people out there who ARE willing to do the hard stuff of relationships/marriage, but how do you know if you found someone who isn't going to just run away when it gets too hard?
I guess you could say I feel ready to give up on the whole idea of another relationship, let alone marriage.
What happened to divorce not being part of a married persons vocabulary? (except in instances of abuse or infidelity)
Casa de Frugal Texan
March 6th, 2010 at 09:09 pm
March 6th, 2010 at 09:17 pm 1267910273
March 6th, 2010 at 10:14 pm 1267913641
March 6th, 2010 at 11:00 pm 1267916458
March 6th, 2010 at 11:24 pm 1267917854
1. Where each of those individual are in themselves - are they content with their own identity or are they hoping marriage will fill the void
2. Given that no-one is perfect, how compatible are they ? Meaning do their weaknesses create conflict or are they complementary to one another ?
March 7th, 2010 at 02:07 am 1267927661
March 7th, 2010 at 02:18 am 1267928285
OK, I've been married almost 20 years and did so when I was 20. It can be done successful if both people have a commitment to one another and see it as a covenant between both parties and God. Not saying that non-religious can't have the same quality union, but it is part of belief system. I should add I am a product of a divorced marriage; but my mom has been married 30 years to stepdad, and bio father has been married four times and has present live-in my age about 10 years. I wouldn't give up on marriage, but I would probably suggest looking for a like-minded date.
I am sorry to hear about your mom and stepdad. I'd stay put.
March 7th, 2010 at 03:43 am 1267933408
Yes, it is definitely good of my stepdad to let me stay here and continue renting - which I plan to do as long as possible (or until I graduate.)
Unfortunately, I don't think religion or lack of it has much to do with divorce anymore. It's become too common, too "easy". It doesn't carry the same connotations of 50 years ago.
Maybe someday I will find another person who has the sticking quality, and is compatible with me financially and otherwise. I'm not holding my breath though.
March 7th, 2010 at 05:50 am 1267941002
March 7th, 2010 at 06:11 am 1267942272
March 7th, 2010 at 06:22 am 1267942923
Yeah ... luck and determination. I guess there is a point where it is just past being worth fighting for, but when it's the 4th time ... (3 husbands, 4 marriages, about to be 4 divorces)
Joanne,
Thanks. Time apart? Maybe ... It started out as mom saying "ten-day break" then not 5 days in, she says she filed. So . .. I kind of doubt it.
Kids ... they'd be nice, but well, I'm 34, with absolutely no prospects. So, unless I adopt, or meet someone in the *real near* future who I *absolutely* click with ... probably not going to happen.
March 7th, 2010 at 01:27 pm 1267968461
I agree that it is better to be in single than be in a bad relationship. There is a difference between a bad relationship and being in a healthy relationship that you need to work at.
I believe you will meet the love of your life. You're too sweet not to.
March 7th, 2010 at 03:29 pm 1267975741
Main thing I see is people don't even try any more. Or, they just don't take marriage seriously. I disagree about faith having anything to do with it. BUT, agree you need someone who takes marriage just as seriously as you do.
I 100% agree with ccfree. Putting time and commitment to a marriage, is everything. I know plenty of people who met for 5 minutes and stayed married until they died. Most of our grandparents were that way. Not sure if they were all happy - but they were committed. Most were very happy. I don't think time is *key* to a good marriage. But dh and I were not the type to rush into things, and did date 5 years before we married, too. I could not imagine marrying someone a year after meeting, no matter how compatible we felt. I suppose we just didn't see the rush. I suppose these days, too many people rush in and don't really think it through.
March 8th, 2010 at 03:22 pm 1268061768
I'm not sure what I can say with any credibility. I am divorced. I failed.
But I am also staying single, because I came to a similar conclusion as yourself. That marriage and relationships should only be an official confirmation of a couple's commitment to one another, in an already-existing and on-going healthy relationship.
I do not believe a relationship should be pursued simply for the sake of placating loneliness or any other personal issues. It's a crutch that is doomed to break. I think too many people focus on getting into a relationship like an arbitrary milestone....
I don't know. I don't know your parent's situation. I'm not trying to speculate. More than anything, just thinking out loud about myself. Anyways, I hope things work out for you, despite what's going on.
March 8th, 2010 at 11:00 pm 1268089233
I have been with my husband since I was 13 years old! Married at 20 and am 52 now. We have had our ups and downs and actually said the "d" word. But we went to marriage counseling and that really helped. Actually 3 separate times did we have counseling.... I think the final time took!
March 12th, 2010 at 03:46 am 1268365582