I woke up early enough to do my 30-minute video, shower, check my email, and eat a relaxing breakfast, before heading off to early service. Early service was a little bit weird. Pastor Hunt didn't do a sermon that was really based on Mother's Day like normal, his sermon was about Rahab. It was a good sermon, but . .. Also, they didn't recognize the mom's in the congregation, or hand out flowers. Maybe they did that for second service - but I remember last year when Scott was here, that we went to first service and they handed out flowers at first service.

When I got home I had a message on my cell and on my answering machine from my mom. She told me that she hadn't gotten my message till this morning. When I called her back, she told me that she and Dave were on their way over. I wasn't planning on meeting her for lunch till about 1:30 - they ended up getting here more about 12, so I had to hurry and get her gift wrapped up.

The meal was kind of awkward. Some of the things we talked about, it seemed natural to mention my dad in the course of conversation, but I felt so ultra aware of how jealous Dave feels of my dad, that I tried to NOT mention him. And of course my mom pulled one of her "Mom's" asking me out of the blue what was the "highlight" of having her as a mom. I can't tell you how much I hate those kinds of questions that put you on the spot. We were talking about Scott later, and she bursts out and says "He broke your heart didn't he?" Umm... obviously, yes, but I don't particularly want to share that in front of Dave - not to mention that I wasn't really in that frame of mind to discuss that.

After the meal we ended up going to the park between my house and the school where there was an Art Festival going on. As we were walking there, out of nowhere my mom blurts out, "You know, they really need to do more things to bring a sense of community here." I'm totally flabbergasted. She doesn't even live here, has only been in this area when visiting me, and yet feels she knows enough about everything to come to this conclusion! I asked her how she came to this conclusion. She told me that this is a place of many cultures, but the cultures tend to separate themselves (again, HOW did she come up with this??) and they should do more things like this. I told her that they *do* this Art Fair in the park *EVERY* year, as well as having free band concerts every Sunday during the summer by the library, as well as other things I couldn't think of right then.

Well, we walked through the different booths and such for a little over an hour and a half. Mom stopped in this one booth with a bunch of earrings, took a pair off of a display case, then walked up to the booth operator and I guess asked if she could try it on. After trying it on, she asked for the price *$45* then tried to haggle, but wasn't successful. She did this a number of other times. She has a lot of jewelery already, I don't really see why she wants *more*, not to mention that it's not like she has an endless supply of money. I saw this one framed picture called "The Woman At the Alamo" that I absolutely loved. I could just picture it in my home. But I couldn't picture myself paying $325 for a piece of art. There was also a pencil/ink drawing of this old man/grandfather sitting on a stump and four children ranging from maybe 3 to 10 standing around him, looking like they were listening to a story. I was SO drawn to this piece. There wasn't a price tag, but I'm sure it would be way more than I'd ever be willing to spend.

I saw the mom of one of my little girls and her older sister at the fair. It was a little weird at first, but then I reminded myself that I don't have to worry about keeping up appearances anymore. That I'm not trying to keep my job here.

When I got back home I got an email from Scott, and then I replied to it. Apparently the one I had sent him after I got back from church had a inaccurate time stamp which confused him. We played email tag for a few emails -- two or three word messages back and forth. Finally, I ended up calling him (that's basically what he had asked me to do in the emails). We talked for over 4 hours again. At one point in our conversation he said something that made it very natural for me to be able to tell him that I was curious about why he was coming here to see me again. He told me that I would just have to remain curious! He also said some other things during the course of the conversation, that really truly leads me to one conclusion, although, I still could be wrong. I *really* think that he is coming here looking for another chance.

After I got off the phone with him, I got an IM from Todd. (I uninstalled it and reinstalled it last night - it's working again, Yay!) I told him about some of my conversation with Scott, and some of the conclusions I had reached. He asked me exactly what drew me to Scott - if it was just that we were similar in our religious beliefs. I told him that that was a part of it, but certainly not everything. He also asked me if Scott had given me a good explanation of why he'd ended our relationship before. I told him that he really hadn't, but that *if* he is asking for another chance, that I will have to have a good explanation, as well as being told why it's different now. Todd said he was worried that I'd jump at a chance to be with Scott just to get away from my life here in Texas. I told him that if that was *the* only reason, I'd just be exchanging one bad situation for another. That having a good strong marriage that lasts 40 years, where I can look at my husband/partner and know that we had our share of rough times and good times, but in the end it was all worth it, and where I can still look at my partner/husband and get a flutter.
I told him that I'd rather be single for the rest of my life, than to be in a marriage where there is some aspect of "convenience" in it. That I will only marry ONE time (unless, perhaps my husband dies).

After that, he started to share with me some concerns/doubts he has about his finance. It was a little hard giving advice, because even he admitted, the reason/concern was pretty vain on his part. I was glad though that he felt comfortable venting about that to me, because our conversations had become somewhat unbalanced - with me doing a lot of the venting.

Like I told a friend in one of my emails last night -- Why didn't anyone tell us that life gets even more complicated when you're an adult?

Daily Goals:
1. Exercise
Yes - 30 minute video in the am
Walked around Art Fair ~90 minutes

2. Water -- Two liters
3. No food or soda after 7: No, Scott and I started talking about 5 and didn't get off till after 9, and I was *starving!*

Spending Log:
Romano's Macaroni Grill: $30.89 (3 people + $5 tip)

Keeping It Frugal in Texas,
Laura