The morning went really pretty well. I only had 10 of my 13 students there, due to a death in one student's family, and two of the others leaving early for an Adventurer's campout (similar to Boy/Girl Scouts). The afternoon went okay - there were a few moments that could have made me very upset, but somehow, I didn't let them get to me. Maybe it's cuz I know the end is near. I stringently tried to ignore M's off the wall behavior as much as possible, and then the few moments he was doing really well, praise him to high heaven. By the afternoon, he had actually settled down somewhat, unfortunately, the other boys took up where he left off. By 3:00 I had 5 students left, and by 3:03 I had one student left. I guess all the parents were anxious to get started on their weekend.

After work I went to Kroger's and picked up some mailing envelopes. I know I could do it much cheaper by picking up a whole box of them from Office Depot or something, but well, I didn't. Then I went home and wrote out the addresses of the four auction winners on notecards which I attatched to the envelopes, and put the books in. While I was at the post office there was a lady ahead of me with two small girls, probably 3 and 4. They were very cute, but not very well behaved. I still have two auctions awaiting payment, otherwise I would've mailed those off too.

Oh yeah, I stopped at Schlotsky's for supper. Then of course, I really really wanted some soda, so I stopped at Kroger's again and picked up some soda, along with a few other items. Today was payday, and normally I would get my car filled up, but I was only down a 1/4 tank since last payday fill-up, and the cheap gas station was out of the regular gas, so I decided to wait till next payday.

I've been thinking some more about my dad and I's livinig arrangements. Right now, I think it's kind of frustrating to me because when I come home and he's here, there really isn't any space that is really "his" space. So, when I walk in and he's in "my" space, using my computer, or having made a mess in the kitchen making his bread machine bread (or more accurately, not having cleaned up the bread crumbs/flour from making bread 4 or 5 days ago), it can be frustrating.

Once my dad finds a place, which will be a 2 bedroom place, and hopefully a 2 bathroom place, I think some of these issues will be resolved. For example, my computer can go in my bedroom, and he can have his computer in his bedroom, as well as all his other stuff. Also, once he hopefully starts making sales, he will be able to contribute to grocery costs. Yes, I am pretty good about getting good deals, and am happy to share what I have, BUT two people consume a stockpile much, MUCH faster than one, and right now he's not even here for meals everyday.

Kashi asked me whether or not I have a choice about living with my dad. Yes, and no. Yes, I could get an apartment all by myself, although without a current job, I'd probably have to do a bit of haggling about a deposit. That would be the most comfortable choice for me in a way - wouldn't have to make any concessions or changes. But, in reality, I don't really think I have a choice. Due to some really stupid choices my dad made a few years ago, he is now facing some tough consequences. He needs a place to call home during the day. He needs to feel supported by family. I know he is a good person, despite the stupid choice he made, and I feel it is only right that I offer him all the support and help that I can. He was tremendously supportive of me when I was going through some tough financial times four or five years ago. So I guess in a way I also feel like I owe him quite a bit.

I think what really frustrated me yesterday was that he was pretty much unwilling to consider the inexpensive places - even though I'd told him upfront that I really wanted to keep my expenses to a bare mininum - and honestly I would think he would too, since right now he is basically being financially supported by his younger sister until he gets his sales going.

My life right now, really is NOT what I pictured it as being like when I got close to the 30 mark (7 months away). I pictured myself as a wife and a mom. Happy and content. Not as a directionless, jobless (though by own choice) singleton with a horrible credit score. I can't say that I am UNhappy really, though I am NOT content with my life. I know God loves me. I know my family loves me, and I know I have friends whom I can turn to when I really need to vent. I really don't want to find myself turning 40 and still not have my dream of my own family. Again, it's not that I'm UNhappy with being single. It does have it's positive side for sure, and I feel that I can be alone and not be lonely. But, I don't feel content being single forever. God formed Eve from Adam's ribs for a reason. People aren't meant to be alone. I've dated two Adam's, but have yet to have found MY Adam.

Ok, sorry for the melodrama. Todd, my ex-bf, says that I'm way too hard on myself. (This was after I apologized to him that almost everytime he IM'd me to say hi, it turned into a woe is me rant from me.) Maybe he's right, I don't know.

Spending Log:
Kroger's: $2.56 (6 mailing envelopes)
Post Office: $9.56 (4 pkgs; Media Mail +Delivery Confirm)
Schlotsky's: $6.15 (sandwich plus chips)
Kroger's: $6.71 (banana's, soda, granola bars, etc)

Keeping It Frugal in Texas,
Laura