Warning - a bit of a vent ahead.
I'm getting a wee bit frustrated in the house hunt. If it were up to just me, I would have already found a house. Probably the one we looked at a few weeks ago - the one that would have made a bike-able commute still possible. But no ... that basement just wouldn't work for Mr FT.
Oy.
So we looked at the auction house today. A definite no way in h E double hockey sticks. The basement would have been amazing - super amazing. It just was that the humongous cracks throughout the basement, huge bulges, etc., kind of detracted from it. Not to mention that ALL of the outbuildings were in major states of disrepair and full of junk. Plus it would be at least a 40-45 minute commute in good weather. Partially on gravel roads.
I did really like the second floor. I could see making it into my own little sanctuary. Oh well.
--
After looking at the auction house, we decided to drive over to the $129k house. The outside / yard looked as good as the pictures on the internet depicted. However, the neighborhood left a bit to be desired. Lots of run down mobile homes, but also lots of nice modular / real wood homes. Mr FT was excited to see that someone had a flock of 5 chickens. On a place that was really run down ...
We timed the drive from $129k place to my place. 30 minutes -on a Saturday afternoon. Going through an intersection I've had the misfortune of having to go through on a weekday before (14th and Warlick if you know it CCF.) So ... doubtful that the commute would be much better than from the house we love.
Mr FT and I had a conversation comparing and contrasting the $129k house to the house we love. His two main things are that the $129k house doesn't have a basement and has a somewhat smaller yard/less secluded feel. He also thinks that if we can get the house we love for $80 - 90k, then the price differential would make up for all the improvements we would need to make.
Both houses would require us installing a privacy fence. (planning on DIY, although may ask for help with doing the gate part.)
$129k house, at least from the outside, doesn't appear to need much, if any work. We'll see about the inside tomorrow.
House we love will need at the very least - basement repair, major overhaul of land (clearing brush, clearing dead trees, removal of weird stone fountain thing Mr FT hates ...), renting of a huge trash thing to put all the junk left behind in the garages, the greenhouse, the storage shed, the house ...
Future issues - roof replacement, kitchen appliances, adding walls to main floor room(s) to make them actual complete bedrooms.
If we put in an offer, I plan on insisting on having a plumber, an electrician, a roofer, and a foundation inspection specialist come take a look at the place. Besides the regular inspector and radon inspection.
I have the feeling we are going to end up putting in an offer on the house we love. I'm okay with that (as long as we get all the professionals I listed to take a look at it before finalizing said offer.)
I mentioned to Mr FT that my aunt had texted me a few days ago asking if we needed any help with the downpayment. And that I had told her thanks, but we've got it covered (basically.) He told me that if she made the same offer to him, that he'd take her up on it. He didn't understand why I did NOT want to do that. Money = obligations. $1500 for the wedding expenses ... I'm okay with that. However much they'd offer for the downpayment? I'm thinking it would be an amount I would not be okay with.
Mr FT was again complaining about how stressed out the wedding and house hunting was making him. Well ... the wedding stuff - I've asked for minimal input from him - getting a tux, choosing the music for the rehearsal dinner, figuring out the honeymoon stuff, going to pre-marital counseling once a week. And oh yeah, I asked him to meet the photographer Thursday night so he'd feel more comfortable with him - Mr FT thought that was kind of pointless. We'll see I guess.
As for the house hunting ... he's putting the stress on himself. Spending hours upon hours searching houses on the internet. Then spending hours upon hours driving around the outlying towns looking for sale signs (they're not all listed on mainstream sites apparently.) I think he's looking for the "perfect house" - and I just don't think we're going to find it. So I think we should be willing to compromise on what we MUST have.
For example, the $129k house w/no basement. It does have a 4 car heated garage. That would be plenty of room for my car, his eventual boat, and then the leftover space could be used for his man cave space + 1 of the 3 bedrooms in the house.
This has a big plus in the fact that he would not have to deal with stairs. His answer is "if I lose ___lbs, then stairs wont be an issue." Ohhhh kayyyy.... what happens if you never actually lose __lbs? Your knees get worse, and you can't manage the stairs at all ... the basement goes to waste? (I didn't ask him this. I try really hard to not comment on his weight loss efforts one way or the other, unless he brings it up himself.)
I wonder how he'd handle putting together all the details of the wedding that I have already handled, or am in the process of finishing? Not well, I'd imagine. Probably would throw up his hands and say, let's elope at the courthouse! (That's actually what he would prefer to do. If I would have realized how unimportant my having an actual wedding was to my mom, I think I almost would have been okay with that idea myself. But I do like that Mr FT is going to actually get to meet some of my family in person which he otherwise probably would never meet. So .. it's a wash I guess.)
Sorry, like I said, just a wee bit frustrated.
May delete this post at some point ...
House Hunting is Frustrating - Especially when Two People have to Agree ...
March 20th, 2016 at 04:38 am
March 20th, 2016 at 10:48 am 1458470919
March 20th, 2016 at 01:47 pm 1458481629
March 20th, 2016 at 02:28 pm 1458484080
March 20th, 2016 at 02:30 pm 1458484242
As for the house itself. It's a big step. We're in our third house now. By this last time shopping we knew what was essential for the way we lived. (for us, 3 beds, full basement, large yard for garden, fireplace, master bathroom.) We made a list of absolute must haves (not dream bonuses) and honestly, we bought the first house we looked at! (we did look at a few others, too, but it's all about 'know thyself'.) And as for repairs, some things aren't as big of a deal. We steer clear of structural and water issues, but new roof or windows? Doable.
Maybe you both could agree on a list like that?
March 20th, 2016 at 02:31 pm 1458484310
The wedding for us was 10 stress-inducing months.
The house hunting took over a year. During that time we continued to save, moved up in price in what we could afford, and bought our "starter" home. We are still here over 20 years later and we are never going to move. Sigh. (I would have moved about 5 years ago as Daisy got older - so that we could have a better social gathering space for tweens/teens - but no way will Mr. H agree).
It may take some time to find a house you can both agree on. It's not a bad thing to take the time to get what you both want/need.
March 20th, 2016 at 02:44 pm 1458485097
Welcome to married life! But that said, yeah, probably won't be in such stressful situations/change all the time.
I think if moving in together is of very high priority then I would focus on the needs and let go some of the dreams. If it's not working out then maybe the dreams are a bit much for now. Doesn't mean you can't ever have them. That said, though we did the starter home thing it was only because we had no choice in the matter. Crazy expensive city and could not even afford a house to start (or probably ever). But I suppose at the end of the day I am glad that is the route we took because it gave us time to live in a home and decide what were going to be long-term deal breakers for us. I think it's hard to know before you are even married or living together. The other side of me hates moving though and maybe rather just put it off until after the wedding. Give it time to find the "perfect" place for you.
March 20th, 2016 at 02:55 pm 1458485703
If the estimate/info comes back you can then work on a low ball offer (based on your revised comps and estimates) and ask the seller to carry the loan (seller finance) or a year or two while you fix the issue because YOU and pretty much no one else can get a loan anyway. Then in a year or few months whenever after you have fixed it then you get an FHA or whatever loan
Win win. seller sells house. you get an awesome deal and a fixed housse
This is hard to explain via text but would be willing to talk offline if you want help w investigating this strategy.
I do not know numbers.. but Example if list is $100k. your estimate is $12k ..you add in some items to your estimate..and you base your offer on comps in poor shape and do aggressive negotiation (point out who are they going to sell this house too etc).. offer say $62k or less .not sure of the comps.. you really come out ahead with a perfectly fine house after fixed.
with bowed walls their market is cash buyers .. and a cash buyer is going to go in at 1/2
March 20th, 2016 at 03:07 pm 1458486426
Thanks Ima. The thing is though, we are not looking at this as getting a starter house. Both of us want to find a place where we'll be, probably for as long as we both are alive .. once it's just me, then I'll probably go for a condo or a townhome... less upkeep for when I'm much older.
CCF - it's near 14th and Pine Lake if that helps. Yeah, I'm not looking forward to the commute. Trying to see it as an opportunity to brush up on spanish skills, listen to books on tape, etc.
Thrift - I thought we kind of had. But it's turning out difficult enough to find something with just what HE wants. Plus now that he's seen the yard of the house we love, everything else is paling in comparison...
Petunia - Thank you. I was hoping by keeping it very small and simple, that the stress would also be small ... I've gotten to the point where I'm willing to sell some of my inherited stock so we can do a 20% downpayment and still have cash reserves. The longer it takes us to find a house we can agree on, the longer it will be before we can actually see some of the savings from sharing finances (i.e one Internet bill vs two, one utilities bill vs two, etc.)
Thanks MM. Yeah, the moving part is partly what is making us want to find THE house. Both of us are So tired of moving. And I've done it way more than he has, with ten years less of life ..
March 20th, 2016 at 03:17 pm 1458487048
Our Realtor suggested putting in an offer of 80k pending inspection- to see if they are even willing to entertain a low ball offer. Are you thinking that even a conventional loan wouldn't pass a place with bowed walls??
I think you're right though - this house is going to be a hard, hard sell. Not many people will be able to do a conventional loan. I think when we see the Realtor today I will ask him to get comps on the other homes in the area in similar condition.
Can we really get a free estimate without having put in an offer on the house? Our Realtor was suggesting i=beams - but you are thinking rebuilding the walls completely? I was reading about basement repair, and rebuilding the foundation walls completely sounded like it would mean having to dig up all the landscaping surrounding the entire house.
Maybe this would be a good way to see if our Realtor is actually willing to put in time and effort for us ... so far, it hasn't really seemed like he's put in much, other than to show us houses WE found on two different days.
March 20th, 2016 at 05:58 pm 1458496731
Just remember you will never see all the repairs/updates you'll end up making. There will always be some invisible to you until you've lived there a while. I hope you find the right house that makes you both happy
March 20th, 2016 at 06:01 pm 1458496861
March 20th, 2016 at 06:21 pm 1458498098
It was the most stressful year of my life for sure, but now it feels so worth it. But it does test your relationship, and your wallet ... and we had to consider our relationship with two of our best friends as well as our marriage in the process. At least we weren't planning a wedding too, holy smokes!
March 20th, 2016 at 06:50 pm 1458499808
March 20th, 2016 at 06:50 pm 1458499832
Do you ever watch House Hunters on HGTV? The couples NEVER or at least very rarely ever agree on the style of house they want. It is almost comical. At least as a viewer of the show. Probably not so much as a participant.
Also some of the people have the most unrealistic expectations. As I like to say, they have champagne dreams on a tap water budget.
March 20th, 2016 at 08:12 pm 1458504734
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March 22nd, 2016 at 10:06 pm 1458684383
March 23rd, 2016 at 05:29 pm 1458754167
March 23rd, 2016 at 11:43 pm 1458776622
He was over here last night, and I told him I was getting frustrated and that maybe we needed to take a break from hunting. He didn't like that idea ... So the hunt goes on. All the more frustrating now because he's got his mind set on a house outside of L, and anything inside of L has something or the other wrong with it. Oy vey!
March 25th, 2016 at 04:09 pm 1458922167
March 26th, 2016 at 02:40 am 1458960012