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over :(

September 2nd, 2014 at 03:18 am

We had one of our silent tiffs Friday night. I was pretty much ready to call it quits then, but knew he was working Saturday and Sunday nights. I cleaned his place as kind of a goodbye gift I guess.

He didn't contact me until 6:30 Monday night - via a text. He came over at 7:30 and within the first few minutes as he was trying to put it out there - I told him that it seemed like we'd both reached the same conclusion.

Have it finished before we started hating each other.

Even though this is something I knew needed to be done, I still feel so bereft. So sad. So much like maybe I'm just meant to be alone.

We exchanged house keys. He'll be bringing over my dad's computer sometime next week - I've been letting him use it to post ebay photos.

Now I've got to figure out how I'm going to get my mirror hung and the table put together. Oh well, that's the least of it.

Frown

It's a good thing I guess that I don't have any sick days I can use right now. Need to keep busy.

31 Responses to “over :(”

  1. laura Says:
    1409624660


    ((hugs)) I will pray for you.

  2. creditcardfree Says:
    1409626098

    I'm so sorry! ((Hugs)) Don't give up, consider an online dating service...I've known several people for whom that worked, including my brother in law and his wife!

  3. My English Castle Says:
    1409626245

    Oh damn. I'm so sorry. And I agree about the online dating service after you get some time and space to heal. One of my good friends is a testimony to it too.

  4. FrugalTexan75 Says:
    1409627597

    Thanks guys. No more online dating for me. That's where I met my last two boyfriends.

  5. Thrifty Ray Says:
    1409630411

    Im so sorry Laura. I cant imagine how tough this has been for you- Youre in my thoughts dear friend. {{hugs}}

  6. Kiki Says:
    1409633963

    Laura, I am so sorry to hear this.

  7. LuckyRobin Says:
    1409634242

    I'm sorry, Laura. I hate that you had to go through this and I hope that you will be able to find what you are searching for.

  8. Petunia 100 Says:
    1409635544

    {{hugs}}

    Just because this particular relationship did not work out, it does not mean you are meant to be alone. And let me tell you from experience, there are worse things than being alone. {{{more hugs}}}

  9. Tabs Says:
    1409659140

    I'm very sorry to hear that things did not work out.

    Maybe it doesn't feel like it now, but I am glad you tried first, even if it did not work out.

    Also, please don't think that you are meant to be alone... unless that is what you actually choose to do with your life.

    Online dating sites are just a tool... a means to meet people.

    Sorry if this seems like lecturing. That's the last thing you need right now. In any case, I am very sorry to hear that. Please take care.

    ...crazy crazy notion, but can I get a link to your online profile? I know, super tacky. You can say no hahah.

  10. FrugalTexan75 Says:
    1409659342

    Thanks everyone

    I was talking to my brother last night and he told me that I should make a list of ten things I want to do, and then start to do them. Now that I don't have to budget in restaurants, maybe I can put in - join a real gym. I do get some kind of an employee discount, although I'm not sure how much. Also there's some movies I've been wanting to see .. some museums I've been wanting to try ... a vegan restaurant in the big O that CB told us about that looks neat (although it looks like I'd have to budget for that one for awhile $$)

    It also seems that the local church here is just starting to gear up with activities now. Good timing I guess for me to get involved.

    Sigh. My hearts just not in all of this yet. The strange thing is, this breakup was much easier on me than the first one ten+ years ago. Maybe because I kind of was preparing for it for weeks and had most of the sadness worked out of my system.

  11. Stephanie Says:
    1409659415

    So sorry to hear but you sound like you are in a good mindset (choosing what is best for you rather than just sticking with what wasn't working).

    Hugs!

  12. FrugalTexan75 Says:
    1409659638

    Thanks Tabs Smile I don't have any online profiles up now - took them down when NE and I started dating again.

  13. Carol Says:
    1409659641

    Take care of yourself.

  14. Tabs Says:
    1409661494

    No worries. It was terribly tacky on my part anyways. Anyways, take care.

  15. laura Says:
    1409662572


    Dear Laura,
    I hope that you are feeling a bit better today and that you slept well. Maybe a sigh of relief that the end has come and gone. I believe that you are a gift to someone that you don't know yet, and I do hope that you keep that door open. I haven't dated in a quarter of a century, but the two people I love most in this world who are my contemporaries are my brother and best friend. And they are both single, though my brother is engaged. I know that both of them have hung up the hat on love several times, but the hiatus has been a time of taking stock, etc. I second the online dating as an option.
    Well, just wanted to let you know that I've been thinking about you and wishing you well.
    Laura

  16. Ima saver Says:
    1409665152

    I am thinking about you too. Hugs!!

  17. scottish girl Says:
    1409667196

    I'm so sorry. Hugs!

  18. CB in the City Says:
    1409668520

    I am so sorry, Laura! Don't do online dating if you don't want to. I personally think it's pretty awful.

    It sounds like this guy was NOT the one for you, but I think he's still out there. Don't ever give up hope. Meanwhile, enjoy your life as it is. Your brother's suggestion is a good one. I think I'll make a list of ten things I want to do, too!

  19. wowitsawonderfullife Says:
    1409673271

    Hey Laura

    I am saddened for you. On the other hand there is a whole new chapter about to unfold and it's good timing as far as the church activity start up goes.

  20. FrugalTexan75 Says:
    1409674493

    Tabs - I wasn't offended. It made me smile. I needed to smile.
    Laura - thanks I'm not going to close myself from dating again in the future. I just don't know if I have it in me to actively look
    Ima, Scottish girl, Stephanie - thanks
    CB - thanks I hope you'll share your list. Might give me some ideas
    Thanks Wow - I'm really trying to look at like that. Although at the moment I'm concentrating on not crying at work.

  21. debt-free by thir-ty Says:
    1409682489

    I'm so sorry for you. I went through a really tough break-up during the holidays last year and thought for sure I'd never find someone. It took me several months of bad or mediocre online dates before I met my new boyfriend and he's the most wonderful thing I could have imagined. There is hope out there. Just be patient and open!

  22. MonkeyMama Says:
    1409685336

    Frown - Very sorry to hear.

  23. Looking Forward Says:
    1409708157

    ((Hugs))
    Sorry things turned out this way, but I am glad that you reached out to NE for another try anyway. I think it's better to know that things weren't going to work vs. always wondering"what if".
    Making a list is a great idea - time to focus more on what you want.
    And now you are in a much more populated area so I have hopes that will help you meet lots more people.
    I really feel as though this is one of those times when God closes a door but opens a window. Smile

  24. SecretarySaving Says:
    1409775380

    Hang in there! There is a lot of peace that comes to being single and doing what you want when you want. I am an introvert and embrace it. I enjoy staying in and reading a good book, making a bubble bath, visiting with family. I don't like bars and huge groups of people. Does your apartments have a gym that you could use for free? Would the maintenance man come over and hang your mirror and assemble the table for an extra $30 or so! Call the mgmt and ask. I've got a guy in my neighborhood coming over to take down the satellite dish on the roof. Best of luck!

  25. CB in the City Says:
    1409844695

    Laura, my list of ten things to do:

    Keep in touch with old friends
    Visit one new restaurant each month
    Visit a new museum/art gallery -- one I've never been to before
    Take my grandson birdwatching
    Go on a color tour when the leaves start turning
    Go to a college football game -- I've been here 5 years and haven't done it yet!
    Drive my cousin to Florida (this is in the works already)
    Check out painting classes
    Start playing my recorder, for heaven's sake!
    Get mani/pedi's on a regular basis

  26. FrugalTexan75 Says:
    1409872145

    Thanks again everyone.

    debtfree30 - I haven't given up hope, I just don't feel like actively looking anymore. I'm just going to do what I want to do and not look at guys one way or the other.

    LF - That is the upside of this - I'm in a much more populated area, not to mention an Adventist mecca (one of our college towns.)

    SS - My apartment is in a converted office building - so no amenities. I'm thinking of asking at church on Sabbath if anyone could help me out with the mirror and table.

    CB - I love your list! I'm working on mine, and actually will be doing one of them tonight. Smile

  27. Petunia in a Flower Garden Says:
    1409887857

    I'm sorry things didn't work out as you had hoped.

    I love the list idea and can't wait to hear about your list-y adventures!

  28. PatientSaver Says:
    1409968001

    I'm sorry....this is not the end of your dating days....not at all. I know it may feel like that, but don't worry.

  29. FrugalTexan75 Says:
    1409970242

    Thanks PetuniaFG - I wrote out my list and it got quite long, so I'm posting it on Bubblews in several posts. After they are all published, I'll put links to them here.

    Thanks PS - Maybe it isn't. The last few days I have almost felt like maybe this is just how it should be. Me and a cat (or maybe a cat and a dog someday). This relationship is the longest one I've ever had, although the majority of it was over long distance.

  30. nhgirl1970 Says:
    1410015231

    I am sorry to hear this. I am just catching up after traveling. You seem to be handling it well so far. Looking forward to your list!

  31. PNWMom Says:
    1410039305

    Just saw this.....so very sorry it didn't work out.....prayers and hugs to you!

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