So today is the last day of school. Last week all the teachers and assistants were given evaluation forms to complete for all the special teachers. Today I asked the principal when we were going to get to see them - she handed them over to me.
The majority of them were 1's and 2's (Outstanding, High Satisfactory.) A few of them had names. Only one of them had a comment to explain one of the scores. I wish I could focus on those ones, but the ones that stood out to me were the ones with the 5's - Unsatisfactory. There were 3 of those for classroom management. No name and no explanation. I also had two 3s (low satisfactory) for collaboration/connection to curriculum/getting along with teachers. Again, no comments or names.
I'm totally befuddled. No teacher has come to me to say anything of the sort. I know there are some groups I have a more difficult time with than others, but for the most part I feel like I have a good handle. As for connecting curriculum ... I'd LOVE to do more of it if they would TELL me what they are studying!!! And yes, I do ask.
All this has done for me is to sucker punch me in the gut. It has done nothing constructive because I have nothing to base figuring out a fix or a solution. All it makes me do is want to say I have had enough. I have tried to do a good job. I have tried to reach out to the staff. I have tried to make the curriculum interesting and relevant. I really don't know what else to do.
I feel like a failure in some ways. I just can't seem to hack it in any job .. and I've scr@wed up most of my relationships too.
Sorry .. this is mostly a self-pity party of one. Part of me knows that it is impossible to make everyone happy. The low scores themselves aren't really the most upsetting part of this, it's the not knowing *why* they were given. The not having any way to figure out what the perception/mis-perception is - is it that the person thinks kids should be silent in the library? If that's the case, then it's a matter of differing opinions. Is it something else? With nothing to go off of, how is a low score at all helpful??
Oh yeah, I got a couple 3's also on making up classes/leaving lesson plans. Arghh!! All anyone has to do is ASK ME if they want to make up a missed class period! Anytime someone ASKS, I do everything I can to figure out how to do it. And for lesson plans .. I leave them, they just don't seem to get used!
Phhff!
Gotta go pick up nurse. Off to ABQ.
Wish I hadn't Asked / Last Day
May 24th, 2013 at 05:55 pm
May 24th, 2013 at 06:13 pm 1369419226
May 24th, 2013 at 06:16 pm 1369419394
Giving someone a 5 with no explanation tells me that the person is a jerk, only wants to hurt, has nothing constructive to offer. Whoever they may be, they are not worth your time. Don't let them ruin your day. There are always going to be people who behave badly and who criticize without merit. You've got to learn to ignore them.
That said, I feel your pain. I hate criticism, too.
Having followed you for several years now, it is very clear to me that you are dedicated to your job, that you go the distance and that you treat others well. If you are not in a good place for you, maybe it is time to look for something better.
Don't think that you have screwed it up. Those bad apples have screwed it up by putting a good teacher/librarian on the edge.
May 24th, 2013 at 06:35 pm 1369420547
It seems that is all that matters and you are being way too hard on yourself! The more people you work with the more people you will clash with. I'd have to wonder if *anyone* got better evaluations than that. Is there anyone you work with who has been able to please *everyone*?
The whole thing sounds very frustrating though, indeed. ((HUGS))
May 24th, 2013 at 07:37 pm 1369424231
Use the experience to make yourself better at evaluations. When you give feedback, instead of saying "great job", give a detail of something that made it great. And when you indicate room for improvement, give a detail of what you mean.
I hope you did get some useful comments on the other evaluations so you know what to focus on. Based on your posts, you are obviously dedicated and caring. The school is lucky to have you. Happy summer!
May 24th, 2013 at 07:44 pm 1369424663
It's too bad nobody goes over these with you. It's hard to fix something that you don't know you are doing wrong with no communication or explanations.(not that you are doing anything wrong). Why do they even bother doing the eval's in the first place then?
Sending a big hug your way!
May 24th, 2013 at 08:28 pm 1369427323
I suggest substituting 'Atta Girl' for pity party and enjoy your majority of high scores. Yah, we can always do better on somethings on some days, no one is 100% perfect 100% of the time. Instead of giving yourself negative, internal messages...
Maybe think up some way of creating and advertising a Make-up time or Make-up lesson day each month to see if a need really exists. Would it be ok to be pro-active by sending an e-mail to ask teachers how the library could support their curriculum? Would administration support an inservice coffee party in the library to show teachers what is available? Ask teachers if they feel it would be helpful to have a 'Featured Display' for their topic like Eating the good stuff
or Telling Time or Earth Day or Patterns etc.
What fun things are planned for summer?
May 25th, 2013 at 12:47 am 1369442857
I think the people that complained about makeup days feel that it is your responsibility to come to them with a plan since it is your class that was missed, while you feel it is their responsibility to come to you because it is their class, period. I wonder if you follow up on all missed classes next year, even if it isn't your responsibility, if that might help. Do you remember that one teacher that went over your head to complain about missed classes, but never actually talked to you. I bet she had something to do with that one.
I'd also try being more persistent with teachers on what they are studying. You might be able to get something out of them at the beginning of the school year when they might have an overall plan for the year ready. Tell them up front that you are trying to link class content to what the teachers are doing and why you think it is an important thing to do.
I'm always amazed at how above and beyond you seem to be at your job. And the kids, the important ones in all of this, love you. When you look back on your life who is it going to be more important to you that you had an impact on, the children or the other teachers?
May 25th, 2013 at 01:17 am 1369444674
The nurse thinks I should disregard the low scores as they are probably just spitefulness from some of the teacher assistants upset about the bus driver situation. She also suggested that I sit down and look at the areas and see what I can do to improve in each of those areas - with or without any comments. That is what I think I'm going to do. I'm going to come up with an action plan for each area I received anything 3 or more.
May 25th, 2013 at 11:45 am 1369482310
May 25th, 2013 at 02:51 pm 1369493504
I made a spreadsheet last night so that I could figure out my average score for each area. There were eleven evals returned and ten categories.
Topic Average Score
Prepared for class 1.181818182
Pertinent content 1.454545455
Connects Lessons 1.090909091
Collaboration 1.363636364
Missed Classes 2
Class Materials App. 1.272727273
Students Vary Abilities 1.6
Discipline 2.9
Rapport 1 1.636363636
Works Well With Teachers 1.272727273
Total Average 1.577272727
The lower the score the better. So, even with the 5s in the discipline area, I still have an overall average in all ten categories of in between outstanding and highly satisfactory. The two areas with the highest scores - discipline and missed classes are still within medium satisfactory range. Looking at the scores this way makes me feel much better than seeing the 5's.