How do you handle it when three adults who are related to each other do not agree on how to deal with a puppy? Especially when one person (me) is the one who spends the most time with it?
One family member in particular just doesn't seem to *get* that as much as they (person) hates it, it is *better* for the puppy to be on leash 99% of the time. When puppy is off-leash, and runs away or starts chewing on things such as expensive shoes, or digging in plants -- um.. who's fault is it??
Seriously! I heard Buddy yelping away in his expen tonight. So I went downstairs (without engaging with him - trying to not encourage the yelping/barking for attention). Family member orders me to not take him out of the expen - that he's in there for a good reason and knows it! I'm like, um, no. He has no clue why you put him in there and are ignoring him. Corrections and redirection only work *at that moment* not 30 minutes later! Family member didn't like what I said.
I feel like telling family member that they can take total charge of him. Coddle him, give him the run of the house, and then get mad at him when he "disobeys" (commands he hasn't learned yet!!!) Yep, then family member will end up with the dog that creates. I'd like to see said family member getting up at 4:30 a.m. when Buddy is desperate to go potty. HAH!! I hate it myself -- so not a morning person -- but today there was a glimmer of hope - he didn't wake me up till 6:45!!
As much as I love this puppy, I think it was a huge mistake to have gotten him. He's going to be one confused dog, and probably neurotic.
Frustrated!
July 9th, 2010 at 04:06 am
July 9th, 2010 at 01:25 pm 1278678329
How about a movie night? Take out an instructional DVD from the library on training a dog. Maybe you can then all come to a concensus on a uniform approach. I do agree that consistency is key.
July 9th, 2010 at 05:29 pm 1278692941
FT - I am so sorry for you! You've got it totally right, now you've got to get the others on-board. I can tell you I've seen lots of dogs "messed up" by their people. Does/will your mom (I'm assuming it's her)read about dog behavior? One of the very best books I recommend is "The Other End of the Leash" by Patricia McConnell. Otherwise, maybe you'll have to tell her if you all can't agree on how to care for pup you will have to find him a more suitable home. For his sake don't wait until he's learned a bunch of bad habits.
July 9th, 2010 at 05:35 pm 1278693355
July 9th, 2010 at 05:39 pm 1278693576
Thanks, that is a good idea. I have had us watch two different dog training DVDs and that helped *some* to have it not just coming from me. What she's most resistant about is keeping the leash on him the majority of the time.
LF,
Yes, it is my mom. We had a good talk last night when she brought Buddy up for the night. She thought I was overreacting and being obsessive (about the leash). Our previous two Maltese turned out "just fine" with being housetrained by having their noses rubbed in their messes and being yelled at and having the run of the house from day one. (Of course, the first one got hit by a car when he was a year and a half, and had already nipped us twice drawing blood. The other one lived to about 14 years old, but he also nipped us several times.)
Getting her to read a book ... maybe she'd do it. She's a lot like my brother, as in, reading books isn't very high on the enjoyment list. That's why I've been reading up a lot on it, and then trying to convey what I learn.
I will look for that book you mentioned. I think the library has it. Maybe she'd be willing to read it.
For now though, I think she's willing to keep him on leash at least outside. (That's what had happened last night. She took him out for potty and he ran around the yard getting really muddy, picked up a rock, and wouldn't come when she called him. Then when she went after him, he ran from her.)
This morning I gave her a demo of everything he's learned so far through clicker training. She seemed pretty impressed.
July 9th, 2010 at 05:41 pm 1278693701
No, the dog isn't mine. Mom and stepdad paid for him, and pay for all the vet bills, etc. They decided to let him sleep with me, and by virtue of my being here just about all day every day, the majority of his daily care falls to me.
July 9th, 2010 at 06:17 pm 1278695863
I'll be sending you and little Buddy lots of Good Luck wishes...
July 9th, 2010 at 06:26 pm 1278696411
July 9th, 2010 at 06:32 pm 1278696759
July 9th, 2010 at 07:41 pm 1278700918
July 9th, 2010 at 07:46 pm 1278701218
July 10th, 2010 at 12:22 am 1278717764
I should also recommend watching "It's Me or the Dog" on AnimalPlanet. The trainer is Victoria and she's pretty good at turning around dogs with bad behavior - always with the owners consistently working on it. Yo might gleen some tips from her, and suggest Mom watch it with you.
July 11th, 2010 at 04:20 am 1278818419
July 12th, 2010 at 07:41 am 1278916895
http://www.ruffwear.com/The-Roamer-Leash-trade_2
That way they understand who is alpha and can be monitored for bodily functions and chewing mis-deeds. No dog trainer would rub a nose in poop/pee any more than they'd rub a diaper on an infant!
Dogs that are trained and confident do not nip or bite! they like to follow rules and get treats and praise from their alphas.
July 12th, 2010 at 12:49 pm 1278935356
Things are getting better (for one, he let me get a full 8 hrs sleep last night!!). Mom is keeping him on leash more than not. They talked to a dog trainer guy at a Rangers game Saturday night that we're going to check into. I'd taken him to a puppy kindergarten Tuesday night- he did fine, but the class was really disorganized.
Snafu,
he's not getting his nose rubbed in his accidents - thankfully that is one area my mom has realized wasn't good - he's really pretty close to pottytrained, as long as we pay attention and take him out consistentally
Thanks everyone for your suggestions and encouragement!