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Frustrated!

July 9th, 2010 at 04:06 am

How do you handle it when three adults who are related to each other do not agree on how to deal with a puppy? Especially when one person (me) is the one who spends the most time with it?

One family member in particular just doesn't seem to *get* that as much as they (person) hates it, it is *better* for the puppy to be on leash 99% of the time. When puppy is off-leash, and runs away or starts chewing on things such as expensive shoes, or digging in plants -- um.. who's fault is it??

Seriously! I heard Buddy yelping away in his expen tonight. So I went downstairs (without engaging with him - trying to not encourage the yelping/barking for attention). Family member orders me to not take him out of the expen - that he's in there for a good reason and knows it! I'm like, um, no. He has no clue why you put him in there and are ignoring him. Corrections and redirection only work *at that moment* not 30 minutes later! Family member didn't like what I said.

I feel like telling family member that they can take total charge of him. Coddle him, give him the run of the house, and then get mad at him when he "disobeys" (commands he hasn't learned yet!!!) Yep, then family member will end up with the dog that creates. I'd like to see said family member getting up at 4:30 a.m. when Buddy is desperate to go potty. HAH!! I hate it myself -- so not a morning person -- but today there was a glimmer of hope - he didn't wake me up till 6:45!!

As much as I love this puppy, I think it was a huge mistake to have gotten him. He's going to be one confused dog, and probably neurotic.

14 Responses to “Frustrated!”

  1. momcents Says:
    1278678329


    How about a movie night? Take out an instructional DVD from the library on training a dog. Maybe you can then all come to a concensus on a uniform approach. I do agree that consistency is key.

  2. Looking Forward Says:
    1278692941

    Good idea Momcents!

    FT - I am so sorry for you! You've got it totally right, now you've got to get the others on-board. I can tell you I've seen lots of dogs "messed up" by their people. Does/will your mom (I'm assuming it's her)read about dog behavior? One of the very best books I recommend is "The Other End of the Leash" by Patricia McConnell. Otherwise, maybe you'll have to tell her if you all can't agree on how to care for pup you will have to find him a more suitable home. For his sake don't wait until he's learned a bunch of bad habits.

  3. Looking Forward Says:
    1278693355

    Another thing - Is this pup "yours"? Like you purchased him and are responsible for him? If so I might care for pup 100% yourself without their "help". Take him with you or to a friend's house or "doggie daycare" when you're unable to watch him.

  4. frugaltexan75 Says:
    1278693576

    Momcents,

    Thanks, that is a good idea. I have had us watch two different dog training DVDs and that helped *some* to have it not just coming from me. What she's most resistant about is keeping the leash on him the majority of the time.

    LF,

    Yes, it is my mom. We had a good talk last night when she brought Buddy up for the night. She thought I was overreacting and being obsessive (about the leash). Our previous two Maltese turned out "just fine" with being housetrained by having their noses rubbed in their messes and being yelled at and having the run of the house from day one. (Of course, the first one got hit by a car when he was a year and a half, and had already nipped us twice drawing blood. The other one lived to about 14 years old, but he also nipped us several times.)

    Getting her to read a book ... maybe she'd do it. She's a lot like my brother, as in, reading books isn't very high on the enjoyment list. That's why I've been reading up a lot on it, and then trying to convey what I learn.

    I will look for that book you mentioned. I think the library has it. Maybe she'd be willing to read it.

    For now though, I think she's willing to keep him on leash at least outside. (That's what had happened last night. She took him out for potty and he ran around the yard getting really muddy, picked up a rock, and wouldn't come when she called him. Then when she went after him, he ran from her.)

    This morning I gave her a demo of everything he's learned so far through clicker training. She seemed pretty impressed.

  5. frugaltexan75 Says:
    1278693701

    LF,

    No, the dog isn't mine. Mom and stepdad paid for him, and pay for all the vet bills, etc. They decided to let him sleep with me, and by virtue of my being here just about all day every day, the majority of his daily care falls to me.

  6. Looking Forward Says:
    1278695863

    When you get the book I might just leave it laying out in the open, like on a coffee table. Maybe she'll pick it up and read a little on her own.
    I'll be sending you and little Buddy lots of Good Luck wishes...

  7. Looking Forward Says:
    1278696411

    PS. Patricia McConnell also has DVDs and another book called Family Friendly Dog Training.

  8. Frugaltexan75 Says:
    1278696759

    Thanks Smile I put the book on hold at the library. I'll see if they have any of her DVDs.

  9. Ima saver Says:
    1278700918

    OMG, don't tell her about my maltese. She is over a year old and I don't take the lease off of her except when she is in her pen. I NEVER let any of my dogs go out side without a lease, ever! Molly would love to chase a squirrel and I would probably never see her again. Even tho she is a year and 3 months old, she still acts puppy! Sounds like you are doing a good job with him.

  10. frugaltexan75 Says:
    1278701218

    Thanks Ima. Smile We only take him out in the fenced backyard right now, so the leash out there really is more of a management/safety (i.e. being close enough to get the rock out of his mouth quickly). I'm glad to know that you also keep your Molly on a leash in the house.

  11. momcents Says:
    1278717764


    I should also recommend watching "It's Me or the Dog" on AnimalPlanet. The trainer is Victoria and she's pretty good at turning around dogs with bad behavior - always with the owners consistently working on it. Yo might gleen some tips from her, and suggest Mom watch it with you.

  12. Miclason Says:
    1278818419

    Get her to watch the Dog Whisperer! He always says that people call him because they think thereīs a problem with their dogs and that he always finds that itīs THE HUMANS who cause the dogīs behavior!

  13. snafu Says:
    1278916895

    some trainers suggest you keep your dog on a roamer leash that attaches to their human's waist.
    http://www.ruffwear.com/The-Roamer-Leash-trade_2
    That way they understand who is alpha and can be monitored for bodily functions and chewing mis-deeds. No dog trainer would rub a nose in poop/pee any more than they'd rub a diaper on an infant!

    Dogs that are trained and confident do not nip or bite! they like to follow rules and get treats and praise from their alphas.

  14. Frugaltexan75 Says:
    1278935356

    I've watched quite a few episodes of the Dog Whispherer and Its Me Or My Dog the last few days. It's interesting seeing how they deal with similar situations. I have the bonus season 1 DW disc coming from netflix, which looks like it may have relevant info. I also have put all the Patricia videos on hold via interlibrary loan, and the two books my library has I should be able to pick up by tomorrow.

    Things are getting better (for one, he let me get a full 8 hrs sleep last night!!). Mom is keeping him on leash more than not. They talked to a dog trainer guy at a Rangers game Saturday night that we're going to check into. I'd taken him to a puppy kindergarten Tuesday night- he did fine, but the class was really disorganized.

    Snafu,
    he's not getting his nose rubbed in his accidents - thankfully that is one area my mom has realized wasn't good - he's really pretty close to pottytrained, as long as we pay attention and take him out consistentally Smile
    Thanks everyone for your suggestions and encouragement!

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